Posts tagged Snap
7 Habits of the Highly Confident
Dec 8th
You already know more confidence means a higher level of performance. Studies show that confidence in yourself is the game changer, the one ingredient that makes all the difference in successful venture. (Of course we mean authentic confidence — not that annoying puffery!)
So, after working with so many clients and students with their confidence in public speaking, and this includes mostly self-identified shy people, I’ve come up with a list of the habits you consistently see in highly confident people:?
1. Avidly care for their bodies. It’s not that all highly confident people are model thin, it’s something much deeper. Highly confident people realize that to keep up their high levels of performance, they must take extra care of themselves. You’ll find many of the highly confident people take their nutrition and exercise very seriously.
Exercise, nutrition, and rest are indispensable for mood management…and we all know how ridiculous people can get when they’re irritable simply for burning the candle at both ends, for too long. (Not that I have any personal experience with this.) ;-)
Wearing your exhaustion like a medal of honor is surely a sign your confidence is flagging.
2. Appreciate who they are and what they have. The best way to snap out of negativity is to stop and take a look at what you already have. Highly confident people know they aren’t perfect, but they are also aware that they are already contributing to a better society.
Life is incredible; life is a drag. What are you focusing on?
3. Assign the best possible interpretation of motives to all people and situations. This is a habit, like any other, that has to be deliberately cultivated. It helps you shrug off things people say, or things that happen, that might otherwise throw you off kilter.
Because highly-confident people consistently look for a positive framework through which to view events, other people generally return the favor. This training in looking for the positive slows down that knee-jerk reaction of going off on mental fantasies of disaster.
4. Able to confront early and lightly. This is probably the trickiest but most telling habit. They usually give positive feedback, but when a correction is necessary, highly-confident people say what needs to be said without getting all dramatic about it. And because they take care of themselves, they’re not harboring resentments that can turn a trickle of annoyance into a fatal tsunami.
Having clarity about who you are and what you want is essential to this habit.
5. Ask for help. Highly-confident people don’t have their egos tied to being the lone savior of a situation. Likewise, they realize that people enjoy helping and delight in being asked to contribute. This habit helps avoid overwhelm, another kill-joy tendency.
6. Are acutely aware of their preferences. It’s not that highly-confident people always insist on getting things their way; but somehow, they usually do. When asked where to have lunch, they suggest a place. When asked what they would like to drink or eat, they respond immediately. This awareness sets the foundation for their goal setting, and helps them make better decisions more quickly.
7. Are attractively light-hearted. Highly confident people take their work seriously, but not themselves. That makes them so attractive to others.?
Can you laugh at yourself? That’s a consistent source of joy, thank heavens none of us is perfect!
A New Consciousness Ending the Conspiracy of Ineffectiveness Part II
Nov 14th
Questioner: Edward, why are you calling our way of living a conspiracy to be ineffective?
Edward: Well, as I said earlier, to conspire means to breathe together. The conspiracy is so deeply ingrained in us that we are actually breathing it together. Do you see what I’m saying? We don’t get together like in a football game where the team gets in a huddle and they all say, “OK you go down and to the right. You go down to the left, and this guy’s going to run over there.” They make a plan and then they come up to the ball, snap it, and do their thing. Well, in our lives we don’t huddle together and say “OK! Let’s everybody do less than we can actually do. Let’s pretend that we’re being real.” We don’t do that. It’s conspired; it’s breathed. It is so deep that it’s an unspoken conspiracy that we will remain in the illusion and believe our way through life. When we start off in life, we aren’t being ourselves. We’re not being the real live entity that was born. We’re being the entity we were forced to be after our birth. So isn’t that in itself ineffective?
Q: How would we be now if we were as we were at our birth? We didn’t know anything at our birth.
E: There isn’t any way of knowing that because there hasn’t been anybody in thousands of years who was simply born and grew who wasn’t forced to be ineffective. There is not anyone who was not forced into being a false entity.
Q: What are we doing that’s making us false?
E: We’re being our personality rather than ourselves.
Q: What’s wrong with being our personality?
E: Personality is something that you invent for yourself to be rather than being the self that you are.
Q: We usually hear that we’re born with a certain personality.
E: Well that’s malarkey. We’re born as perfect individuals with no personality and no hates. We’re not born hating black people if we’re white, and we’re not born hating white people if we’re black. We’re not born being a Christian or a Muslim or a Catholic. All of that is learned. We’re taught all of that nonsense.
Q: So you’re saying the ineffectiveness is actually what we’ve learned.
E: What we’ve learned, yes.
Q: What should we be learning?
E: That’s not a known. We don’t know.
Q: Might that not be worse than what we’re learning now?
E: Well I don’t know. Can you think of anything worse than what we are now? Look at the suffering and the misery. Look at the people on the planet not being themselves, the way they are born. Look at all the greed and the violence and the wars and the people killing themselves and the drinking and the alcohol and the drugs and all of the things on this planet. I suppose things could be worse than that, but I don’t think so.
