Posts tagged Rush
Quick Self Esteem Boosters
Oct 13th
Improving self confidence and self esteem is an ongoing process, and takes courage to look at the deepest parts of your character and understand where self esteem comes from and how to have more of it.
The causes of low self confidence or self esteem need to be identified and addressed. But this takes time and work, so what happens when you are in a rush?!
The self esteem boosters below will give you that instant boost you need at the time you need it, and practised regularly, they will begin to change your underlying beliefs.
1. Do something for someone else. There is nothing like the feeling you get from having an impact on someone. If they smile and say thank-you, so much the better, if they don’t, you can still feel good about yourself. Leave a big tip for a waiter, pick your friends kids up from school so she can have a break, pop in to see your elderly aunt who gets few visitors, cook a favourite meal for your partner. It doesn’t have to be something ground breaking, but as a self esteem booster, this is second to none.
2. Do something for you. Especially if you are run ragged looking after everyone else, are too busy to look after yourself properly or are simply down on yourself and feel you aren’t worth it. Laze in a bubble bath with a good book, take half an hour to get a coffee, relax and watch the world go by, treat yourself to a gourmet lunch. Whatever you always promise yourself you will do but don’t get around to. Do it today!
3. Compliment yourself. Look in the mirror and pick out your best feature (Yes, you do have lots of them), smile and say out loud, ‘Kate, you really do have great skin/eyes/smile/feet/legs/whatever you like about yourself. (Obviously use your own name!!) Then move onto to your skills and actions. ‘Kate, you worked so hard at your workout this morning, did a great job with that report, cooked a delicious dinner, dealt really well with that awkward client etc etc’
Simply smiling at yourself is a great self esteem booster.
4. Talk to someone else. Yes self confidence and self esteem should come from within, but sometimes it gives us a bit boost to hear something nice from someone else. Call your mum, partner, best friend, children, and get a little reassurance from them. When you aren’t feeling great about yourself, it can take the viewpoint of someone you care about to put things in perspective and make you realise you really are rather great!
The road to great self confidence and self esteem is hilly, even when we get to the top of the hill and feel great, there will be the odd day when we don’t feel so great about ourselves.
This is completely normal and we should should get on with things, knowing it is just a blip and we soon be back to our normal selves. However it is good to have some tools to deal with those down days – the self esteem boosters can provide a quick pick me up when you need it.
What do you do when you need a quick self esteem boost? Share your tips with others below
Rush to the Finish Line Or Take it Nice and Slow?
Sep 27th
When you take on the objective to transition to a new state, there’s a period of planning that determines your timeline. This may be detailed in writing or it may be informal in your head. Regardless, there is always the question “should I do it quickly to get there or should I proceed slowly with high quality?” Sometimes the answer is both.
You may set out on a path that seems right at the time, but then change your mind. You may even go back and forth throughout the transition. It’s a part of the journey of learning and growing. Typically, if you start out with a “get it done” mentality you are either trying to meet an expectation (ex: unrealistic deadline) or you are trying to escape the current state. This isn’t wrong, but a point of reflection. Ask yourself, why do I need to get there quickly? Whose expectation am I trying to meet – mine or someone else? What will I gain by pushing forward quickly? Is it the right thing to do for me? That last question is quite powerful.
Another reflection opportunity is that you might just be slowly jogging along and you want to “get it off your back.” There are times when you may stall, possibly out of boredom or fatigue. Eventually, it may weigh on you and you may reach a point when you decide “ok, enough is enough; I need to get this done now!” Again, it isn’t wrong; it’s what’s servicing you at that time. By kicking it up a notch, you may be putting momentum to something that needed a little nudge. With that nudge comes completion – a sense of accomplishment. How wonderful is it when you complete a large task on your list? Even completing a small one for that matter? As any good coach would remind you, don’t forget to celebrate the accomplishment! You did it!
So, how do you keep your sanity through this process? It’s totally up to you. Doesn’t that sound nice? You have the remote control, so dial appropriately. Having someone to hold you accountable is a good start. A professional coach will assist in supporting you in your journey, with an open ear and without judgment. How willing are your family and friends in playing that same role in your life? Do they understand? Do they listen without providing their opinions and placing their perspective upon you?
That’s the fundamental difference between having a coach vs. using a loved one to aid you in your journey. Loved ones have the best intentions, but many times they are approaching it from a “learn from my mistakes” perspective. This would be defined as a mentor. Professional coaches are trained to be non-judgmental and to support you for your greater good. It’s not about someone giving you advice, as you can retrieve that anywhere (mentors, teachers, internet, books, magazines, etc.) It’s about you gaining support in your efforts, during the good days and the not so good days. In transitions, you’ll tend to have both. If you get stalled and you are contemplating “rush to the finish or take it nice and slow?” you’ll have a sounding board, a support system that will support you regardless of your decision. Your coach will tell you “it’s okay to have conflicting thoughts” and “it’s okay to change your mind.” Again, it’s part of the journey of learning, experimenting, and growing.
Reflect on the difference between these two responses from your same situation. The first comes from a loved one – “I told you so.” The second comes from your professional coach “How wonderful that you came to that conclusion. Now you have the opportunity to take that learning forward on your journey. How would you like to proceed?” Which perspective leaves you feeling empowered and supported?
Whether you “rush to the finish line” or take it “nice and slow” it’s totally up to you. You may experience both, maybe even many times over, in your quest to transition. Regardless, it’s perfectly natural.
