Posts tagged Reluctance
4 Things To Avoid To Boost Your Confidence
Sep 27th
Positive thoughts tend to stimulate while negative thoughts tend to depress. There are many harmless habits we have that could potentially hurt our confidence by affecting our self esteem due to the negativity it brings to us and the reluctance of friends to hang around us. Below are some things we do that tend to erode our confidence and how to avoid them.
Being Too Modest
Competing
Talking Behind Peoples Back
Not Doing It Now
Being Too Modest
A little modesty actually is a confidence booster, but when you are always putting yourself down or constantly dismissing praise you will be robbing yourself off that little boost you get from saying some difficult task you just managed to finish wasn’t that bad, that you’ll do it again. As long as you sound appreciative when people compliment you, they will not take it in bad faith.
Competing
Too much of everything as they say is bad. If you are always in a competing mode, people will tend to keep away from you because you are always on the aggressive side. You basically will be taking away the fun in doing normal stuff that people just do for fun. A good strategy to focus on when doing things with people is try not to be a winner take all, but to be a team player and a participant. If you are into competitive sports where the best man or woman wins, then you can unleash the full force of your competitive spirit.
Talking Behind Peoples Back
Sitting together with your friends and talking about other people could be a fun and exciting pastime. But, when you are constantly talking behind peoples backs you will become known as a gossip. People will not feel comfortable around you and will always wonder what you say about them when they are not there.
Equally, your self confidence around people will also take a hit, you become insecure and then wonder what they are saying about you too. To avoid this and keep gossiping out of conversations, stop initiating any type of personal stories about people and try and say something positive about people your friends are talking about. This way, it can slow down the person spreading the gossip as they become aware of the negativity they are spewing.
Not Doing It Now
Always putting things off for later could easily become a confidence downer, because you might eventually forget to do it and will appear to be playing catch up all the time. Do not procrastinate. Anything worth doing is worth doing now. Manage you time well by breaking down tasks to small bite sizes and tackling them as soon as possible. This way you do them in small bits you can accomplish and therefore will be able to finish.
How to Make the Most of the New Year and a Fresh Start
Jan 26th
“Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most.” ~ Buddha
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We’re several days into the New Year, and many of us are still basking in the glow of a fresh start. Every year, January brings renewed optimism for change, for a better life, for a better you. And that’s a wonderful thing. It’s wonderful, because this fresh start gives us a chance to reinvent our lives and ourselves. It allows us to reinvigorate ourselves, to shed the baggage of the previous year and do anything. Anything is possible! That is a gift, my friends, and I suggest we make the most of this gift. Not just by creating and sticking to resolutions but by reinventing the way we live. Here’s how. |
1. Let go.
Many times we are held back by the tangled web of previous failures, commitments, emotions, barriers. We cannot change careers because we’re used to what we’re doing and it’s too hard to change. We cannot find time to get healthy and fit because we have all these other things to do. We cannot find time for our loved ones because we have too many commitments.
This is all old baggage. A fresh start demands a clean slate. Let everything from the past go (easier said than done, I know). Clear your plate and your palate.
Let go of attachments to what you’ve been doing for the past year, or years. Let go of failures. Let go of fears you’ve built up. Let go of reluctance. Let go of your ideas about what your life has to be like, because that’s the way it’s evolved so far. Let go of long-held beliefs and habits.
You have a fresh start. Let go of last year, and start anew.
2. Decide what matters most today.
Forget about your goals for all of this year. Instead, decide: what do you want to do today?
What matters most to you, to your life? What are you most passionate about, right now? What excites and invigorates you? What would give you the most fulfillment?
Often the answer is in creating something, making something new, helping other people, becoming a better person, working on a project that will be an accomplishment to be proud of. But whatever your answer, have it clear in your mind at the beginning of the day.
This might be something you work on all year, or it might just last a month, or it might last a week or a few days, or just today. It doesn’t matter. What matters is today — that you’re going to work on this with all your heart, today. Tomorrow … we’ll decide on that tomorrow.
3. Clear away distractions and focus.
Clear away email and Facebook and Twitter and your favorite blogs and news websites and social forums, clear away the iPhone or Blackberry or Android or cell phone, clear away all the little nagging work and chores and errands that pull at your attention, clear away the clutter that surrounds you (sweep it off to the side to deal with later).
In fact, if you can, shut off the Internet for awhile. You can come back to it when you take a break.
Now, find focus. Even if only for 15 or 20 minutes at first, but preferably for 30-60 minutes. You can take a break and check your email or whatever after you’ve focused. Focus on the thing that matters most. Do it for as long as you can, until you’re done if possible. Feel free to take breaks, but always return to your focus.
When you’re done, focus on the next thing that matters most, and so on.
4. Find happiness now.
Don’t look at happiness as something that will come when you’re done with this goal, or when you’ve attained a certain accomplishment or certain amount of wealth or material goods. Don’t look at happiness as a destination, something that you’ll get later.
Happiness is possible right now. Always remember that. When you push it back until later, it’ll never come. When you learn to be happy now, it’ll always be here.
When you’re doing whatever you’re passionate about, whatever matters most, whatever you decide is worthy of your time and heart and focus … be happy! You’re doing what you love. And that is truly a gift.
5. Reinvent yourself, every day.
Every day, you are reborn. Reinvent yourself and your life, every day. Do what matters most to you, that day.
It might be the same thing that mattered most yesterday, or it might not be. That isn’t important. What’s important is today — right now. Be passionate, be happy, right now.
You’ll have a fresh start every single day — not just on January 1. And that, my friends, is the best thing ever.
