Posts tagged Positive Self Talk
How to Rapidly Become Happy
Sep 8th
How can you be happier more of the time, no matter what your circumstances?
How does one person manage to be up and going for it day after day, and others just can’t quite get it together? They’re always negative. They’re always down. They’re always grumpy. They’re always feeling tired. Why?
Well, it really is a choice more than anything else. There are only 4 ways known to medicine and psychology that emotions are created. Of these 4 ways, unless there’s something #1 physiologically wrong with you (first way), or #2 you’re brain damaged, or #3 you are chemically imbalanced, then it’s #4 what you’re thinking, your self-talk and mental images.
To become outrageously happy most of the time you need to focus on what you can do something about, on the solutions, instead of focusing on what you can’t do anything about, or the problems. Happiness really comes from positive self-talk. 65%-75% of the time, happiness is from a positive thinking pattern. It’s from giving yourself a primary focus on things you can do something about. It’s a choice, and you make that choice moment to moment, every day
About six months ago, there was a gentleman who was referred to me by his doctor for severe depression. He was an executive for a major company, and he had been laid off. He had not been able to find work for almost a year. Anti-depressants didn’t seem to be working, nothing he tried seem to help.
When he began working with me, one of the things that immediately stood out, was that he was continuously focused on the bad. He focused on the fact that he couldn’t find interviews. And when he did find the interviews, he felt so desperate to get the job that the interviews were lousy.
He had totally forgotten to think about all the positive aspects of his life.
He had a great relationship with his wife. He had wonderful children who were happy and healthy and they loved school. They liked doing things with the family. His health was superb overall, except he was depressed. He was physically strong and healthy. He was brilliant. He was regularly learning new things. The guy had a lot going for him. But he forgot about all of that.
He spent all of his time focused on what wasn’t working. “I can’t find a job. We need money.” Desperation. It caused him huge stress and lots of problems.
The first thing I had him do was to begin to focus on what he could do something about, his thinking patterns. And when he began to change his choice of focus, suddenly, life began to be a little better. His depression began to lift. His wife said he began to be more like his old self. He began to be more energetic, and he and his children had more fun playing together.
He had an interview set up for a new job. When going in there, instead of going in depressed and desperate, he had worked on his attitude. He went in positive, telling himself, “I might get it, I might not. But, I believe I can make a positive impression on these people. This would be good for me and good for them.” He went in with a proactive, powerful mindset.
Guess what? They hired him on the spot at more money than he was making prior to getting laid off!
After they hired him, his boss said the primary reason they hired him was that they wanted somebody on their team who was as positive and proactive as he was. They said his demeanor, the way he carried himself, and his positive attitude was exactly what they needed to take their company up the next step.
He was that man. But he had stopped focusing on the positive, and started focusing on what he didn’t have instead of what he did have. We each have that choice.
Every moment, every day, you make that choice. You can either focus on the “good stuff” in life and what you have, or you can focus on the bad stuff and what you don’t have. When you focus on what you don’t have, you’ll have less. Focus on what you do have; the world will give you more. The universe supplies all kinds of things to you. It’s your choice of focus.
Make everyday a positive focus. Be proactive. Take steps and each one can help move you closer to your ultimate goal, to the things you want to attain in your life. You can have whatever you want-better relationships, improved health, more money, better lifestyle, you can have it all. You can transform your life.
The Best of Success to You, Dr Larry Iverson.
How to Successfully Use Positive Thinking
Sep 3rd
Here are some reasons why you would want to clear your mind:
1. If your mind is cluttered with thoughts and feelings of doubt, fear, anxiety,etc. it’s really hard to build confidence.
2. When you clear your mind and relax, it puts you in a state of being “relaxed but ready”. This is a state that confident people have.
3. When your breathing and heart rate is rushed and irregular then that shows insecurity, doubt, fear, anxiety, etc. which, in turn, destroys your confidence. You will want to have a natural, calm breathing and heart rate.
If you are able to achieve these things while clearing your mind, then you are ready to start adding positive thoughts into your head. This is where you must pay close attention if you want the affirmations or positive self-talk to work.
Imagine building a tall skyscraper. The first thing you do isn’t build the skyscraper as soon as you have the land and space to do it. The first thing you do is clear the land that you have of any debris or anything that will ruin the foundation. Then you want to level the land so you will have an even surface. Then it is time for you to add the foundation and everything after. When you clear your mind and control your breathing, you are actually “clearing and leveling the land so you can build your skyscraper”.
The foundation will be the thoughts you put into your head that allows you to have success on a consistent basis. You want your confidence to be natural. That is why your breathing and heart rate must be consistent and calm because that is how your breathing and heart rate is when you are natural (unless you are involved in a physical activity that makes your heart race and your breathing to become rapid). If your heart rate and breathing accelerates just by thinking certain thoughts then you may have insecurities that may need to be addressed. For example, if you are thinking of a person that you may like and your breathing and heart rate speeds up then you may have certain insecurities or fears along with that thought. Instead of thinking insecure thoughts or feel inferior, you want to feel powerful and confident. Here’s what you need to do:
1. Sit in an undisturbed area and close your eyes. Clear your mind and focus on your breathing. Your breathing should be natural and steady. Your heart rate should have a steady and relaxed rhythm. We will call this your “relaxed and ready” state.
2. Keeping this “relaxed and ready” state, you will add new empowering thoughts. You must maintain this state the whole time of thinking these thoughts. If you have any doubts, fears, anxieties, etc. you must drop the thought immediately by phasing out your thoughts. Here’s why: When you think of the new positive, empowering thoughts, they may feel unnatural and fake. This will lead to thoughts of doubt. When you have doubts in your head you will realize that your breathing and heart rate will be irregular and possibly labored. When this happens you will phase out the thoughts and go back to clearing your mind until your breathing and heart rate is back to being steady and relaxed. Once you are relaxed and ready, you can think the empowering thought again.
3. You will repeat the process until you feel comfort in that thought. Any time you think that thought and feel doubt, fear, anxiety, etc., you will phase out the thought, clear your mind, and try again. After you do this a few times, notice how empowered you feel. You will notice how confident you are with that particular thought and you can now say, “I can do this”.
This is a powerful way to successfully use positive thinking. Instead of just using positive thinking and sweeping the negative thoughts “under the rug”, you chose to clear out those thoughts and feel relaxed, natural, and confident thinking new, positive thoughts. You may notice that you will learn new skills easier because you will not doubt yourself. You will be able to attract the opposite sex and feel a relaxed confidence when you speak to someone you may like. You may be able to fail without thinking it’s the end of the world. That’s right..failure is a big part of success. Without failure, you may not appreciate success. Practice clearing your mind for at least ten minutes a day (or throughout the day) and you will notice that that alone can do wonders for your confidence. Add the element of positive thinking and you may feel like failure doesn’t phase you…it’s only part of the process.
