Posts tagged Pace
Build Confidence For A Better Life – 5 Easy Steps
Oct 10th
Confidence is an approach to trust in your abilities. Why it is essential and how to build it – following are the five tips to find out.
1. In your mind, react in a hostile and constructive way towards fears.
It is an observation that in every moment of time, fear moves stealthily into your thoughts. Perceive yourself reacting insistently and positively towards those fears. This practice will be a subject of time, before these reactions expand to reality when these situations embarrass in your actual, day-to-day life.
2. Don’t dread to take risks.
Move about the forefront. You have to take risks and set down to do what actually you want to do. Perform What You Fear!
3. Try to do which is impossible.
Do every work with this intention that it can be done, and you can do it, by invoking your inner capability you can do it. Do not at your place with the same pace, if a mistake happens in the length of the way just accurate your actions as you go along.
4. Feel relaxed every time.
When the muscles of the body are kept perfectly relaxed it is impossible to feel fear. It is proved by physiology studies. So identify those contraction muscles and focus on relaxing them the moment you recognize the fear or nervousness creeping in throughout a situation. It is also a common anger management tips that relax your muscles.
5. Always be happy, don’t be feared.
Put back all the feelings of fright and enjoy the feelings that you captured from most pleasure moments ever in your life. What is the thing that strikes the harmony and misses with you a pleasant experience? Think about it! Without any trouble if you exchange your fear with another excellent feeling, then you will be able to convincingly constrain the fear away by pure will power. Immediately modify your internal exchange of ideas to turn around the thought and put a positive twist to it, whenever you identify a negative thought creeping into your mind.
I Hate My Face
Oct 8th
While I wrote the statement, “I only wonder who the people we want to be like want to be like” in the first paragraph of my article, How to be yourself; I was reminded of an event that changed my outlook about life permanently while I was on campus some years back. I had a very beautiful friend, Oluchi, who was and still is the most beautiful woman I ever stood next to. She was indeed a traffic-stopping attraction/distraction – depending on who is looking of course. You know what I mean? I’m certain the angels envy her.
While we walk towards the bus top one Saturday afternoon by the male’s hostel, which was much dreaded by many ladies because of the manner lots of guys will gaze and make naughty comments aimed at destabilizing the ladies while they have fun laughing their asses out, Oluchi told me how nervous she felt. “I wish I could just snap and disappear from here.” She said clearing her voice to maintain her poise.
I told her it was only natural given the circumstances. We walked on a few steps and she said in her tiny voice, “Gideon, can I tell you something?” A little surprised at her question, “You can tell me anything” I responded. She stopped, looked me in the eyes and said, “I hate my face.” I just chuckled and moved on, thinking to myself what sort of joke. “You know, I’m serious!” she affirmed. “No, you are kidding” I responded without even thinking. Oluchi doubles her pace and walked passed me, obviously disappointed at my response. I was puzzled, and since my thoughts were underdeveloped at the time, I couldn’t help but wonder if she had ever used a mirror. How could such a beauty hate her face? Later on, Oluchi expressed her wish to look entirely differently.
Like me, perhaps you also wonder why Oluchi hated her pretty face. But she’s not alone. Aren’t you too dissatisfied with some things about the way you look? Sincerely, don’t you wish your parents were not fat, so you wouldn’t have inherited the fat DNA? Or wouldn’t you prefer it if your nose was a bit smaller or your ears closer to your head? What about the color of your eyes, your height, shape of your head…. Are they as perfect as you will wish for?
While growing up I always wanted to be 6 feet tall, though I liked my lean body. I prayed for a miracle that will add the needed 2 inches to my 5’10″ height. I even ate more beans despite my hatred for them because my tall brother once told me his secret was “Lots of beans”. I only bloated afterwords, the 2 inches miracle never came! It was a vain wish, comical in retrospect, but painful at the time.
Modern science has tremendously helped in altering people’s looks. Manufacturers spend their best resources and energies employing experts to work out brilliant, age-defying, bio-synthetic, risk-free formulas to recreate/reconstruct people’s critical body parts and make them look, feel and function better. Some people have succeeded in altering their looks partly, while other, entirely. A lot of who looked much better afterword while a few ended up like our legendary Michael Jackson. But all the same, they’ve successfully modified themselves – skin deep! Thanks to science.
I’ve come to feel strongly that there is a need for self-acceptance, no matter how you look. I don’t mean to minimize your right to look the way you choose. In fact, I recommend that you do your best to look the best. But above this, you need to accept your uniqueness as a strength, and fully understand that the real you isn’t how you look, it is rather who you really are, which cannot be revealed by any mirror.
Looks are but a little fragment of the things people wish to change in their lives. I’ve only narrowed down the human fantasies to just looks in order to illustrate a point; to resolve situations superficially, without fixing the deeper and more tender factors is to treat an effect, overlooking the cause. Chronic underlying problems deepens if tackled from outside in. Tackling issues like poor self-esteem in a deep and lasting way can only come from inside out. Simply put, skin deep therapies do not resolve hard-core problems. Ever!
No scientific inventions can change who we really are – our DNA, history and identity. No makeup or make over can conceal our fears.
Plastic surgery can make Oluchi look differently; it can’t make her feel differently. What she needs, like you and I is a mental surgery – the awareness of who we really are, and the acceptance of our individuality.
