Posts tagged Notion
Being Nice Vs Being Kind
Dec 7th
Kindness has been defined as “acting for the good of people regardless of what they do.” I fear that at times we confuse being a “nice” person with being kind. Not only are they not synonymous; at times, they are in utter conflict with one another.
Being nice is often associated with being non-confrontational, agreeable, or even passive. Though nice people are often pleasant to be around and seem to build up your confidence, they are rarely the people that change the world or for that matter, really help you grow as an individual. It is the people that help, challenge, and even confront you that really help you become that better person. Obviously, some people go to the other extreme and seem to want to always confront and “speak the truth” to other individuals- which usually turns against them. However, the first step to becoming kind people is to get past the notion that kindness is being nice. Being kind is looking out for the good of the other person- even if that may temporarily hurt you or the person that you are trying to help.
I think a great example of this was Jesus in the temple-when he drove out the money changers. On one hand he was being extremely kind, by making a statement that would help the poor and needy that were being economically and religiously oppressed. In fact, he was also being kind to the money changers, because he was opening their eyes to their own greed and eventual self-destruction, giving them a chance to change.
There are many modern day examples of this. One of the individuals that immediately comes to mind is Father Romero in El Salvador, who spoke out on behalf of the poor and needy in society and against the corrupt and oppressive military regime that was ruling his nation. He was eventually assassinated for his words and actions. Being nice would not have cost him anything; he could have simply gone along with the government’s policies and tried to help out a few poor people in the church. However, he saw that it was much more important to be kind, to seek the good of other people- to really seek justice for the poor and speak truth to the greed and oppression-and it cost him his life.
I have had a tendency to be the “nice” guy, especially when I was growing up in high school and the beginning of college. I even feel into this trap when I first started teaching. However, sometimes I feel that being just a “nice” guy was an easy way out of being truly kind and thinking about what is best and not what is just easy and non-confrontational. As we seek to implement this wonderful gift of kindness in our lives, let us realize that seeking the best for others is not easy nor is it a passive trait. It is something that requires us to give, sacrifice, and love.
How Are You Spending Your Cosmic Currency – Known As Time?
Sep 26th
I have always been fascinated by this cosmic currency we call time.? Referencing this curious temporal economy, we talk about spending time, saving time, managing time, wasting time, killing time, and even looking forward to expending some future time (which we may or may not even have).?
Time is defined?by Webster’s Dictionary as, “A continuous measurable?quantity?in which events occur in apparently irreversible order.”? This definition captures the notion of?continuity and duration, which we typically measure in intervals such as minutes, days and years.? Time is something we have – in that it is something we are given.? But we never know how much has been allotted to us, or to put it another way, we don’t actually know with any certainty exactly how much we have left.
The truth is we can’t really budget it.? We can decide how to allocate?our time in any given day, or week, but since we don’t know how much we have to spend long term, the duration of our participation in this continuous flow remains a mystery. To me, this makes our choices and decisions about how we live even more compelling.? The Psalmist says, “Teach us to number our days, so that we may gain a heart of wisdom.”? How we spend our time and number our days is very important.
I am repeatedly amazed at how some people spend their cosmic currency.? The Dali Lama says to live our lives in such a way that when we are old, we will have no regrets.? That is a noble aspiration.?
Sadly, I have met so many people who are squandering their time being fearful, complaining about their situation, or wallowing in regret.? The past is history and we can do nothing about it – other than to learn from it.? It can inhibit us or inform?us.? Mark Twain said, “We spend half our lives worrying about things that never come to pass.”? Can you imagine throwing away fully half of your life’s savings on something absolutely useless, and potentially detrimental, to you?
We went out to eat last night at our neighborhood diner, the East Mountain Grill.? They have a new menu and some new art on the walls.? Happily, our old favorites are still available, and there are some additional choices.? It is a homey place, and more customers than not are wearing blue jeans and cowboy boots.
Two paintings caught my attention.? They were both 30″x 30″ acrylic on wood.? The rustic feel was attractive, but it was what was printed on each that really spoke to me.? The wisdom on each piece made what would otherwise have been an attractive painting very meaningful.? The one by our booth said, “It’ll cost nothing to dream & everything not to.”? I was so impressed with the wisdom of the sentiment that even the dangling preposition didn’t bother me.? The one on the wall behind where I was sitting says, “We tend to seek happiness, when happiness is actually a choice.”
If you are not happy with your life, then it’s time to start dreaming and planning and taking action.? After all, life is a gift (that’s why it’s called the present).? Understanding yourself, candidly assessing your present situation, knowing what you want, and formulating a plan for how to get there requires specialized knowledge.??
You have the power to tap into this knowledge.? I believe each one of us has not only the freedom and ability, but also the obligation to continually enhance our lives. Growth is in our nature.? Options abound, help is readily available, opportunities are abundant, and there’s no time to waste.? If you are unhappy, it’s time to take responsibility, take heart and then take action.?
