Posts tagged Nice People
Being Nice Vs Being Kind
Dec 7th
Kindness has been defined as “acting for the good of people regardless of what they do.” I fear that at times we confuse being a “nice” person with being kind. Not only are they not synonymous; at times, they are in utter conflict with one another.
Being nice is often associated with being non-confrontational, agreeable, or even passive. Though nice people are often pleasant to be around and seem to build up your confidence, they are rarely the people that change the world or for that matter, really help you grow as an individual. It is the people that help, challenge, and even confront you that really help you become that better person. Obviously, some people go to the other extreme and seem to want to always confront and “speak the truth” to other individuals- which usually turns against them. However, the first step to becoming kind people is to get past the notion that kindness is being nice. Being kind is looking out for the good of the other person- even if that may temporarily hurt you or the person that you are trying to help.
I think a great example of this was Jesus in the temple-when he drove out the money changers. On one hand he was being extremely kind, by making a statement that would help the poor and needy that were being economically and religiously oppressed. In fact, he was also being kind to the money changers, because he was opening their eyes to their own greed and eventual self-destruction, giving them a chance to change.
There are many modern day examples of this. One of the individuals that immediately comes to mind is Father Romero in El Salvador, who spoke out on behalf of the poor and needy in society and against the corrupt and oppressive military regime that was ruling his nation. He was eventually assassinated for his words and actions. Being nice would not have cost him anything; he could have simply gone along with the government’s policies and tried to help out a few poor people in the church. However, he saw that it was much more important to be kind, to seek the good of other people- to really seek justice for the poor and speak truth to the greed and oppression-and it cost him his life.
I have had a tendency to be the “nice” guy, especially when I was growing up in high school and the beginning of college. I even feel into this trap when I first started teaching. However, sometimes I feel that being just a “nice” guy was an easy way out of being truly kind and thinking about what is best and not what is just easy and non-confrontational. As we seek to implement this wonderful gift of kindness in our lives, let us realize that seeking the best for others is not easy nor is it a passive trait. It is something that requires us to give, sacrifice, and love.
Maintaining a Positive Mood – Try to Find the Good in the Bad
Sep 6th
Psychologists have named the “finding something good in a bad situation” a benefit-finding. There have been a lot of studies which have shown that, for example, some patients which had some really bad diseases, like breast cancer, multiple sclerosis, heart disease or rheumatoid arthritis are able to identify at least one benefit from the fact that they are ill.
For example:
*they usually appreciate a lot more of everything that life offers.
*they have the capacity to develop deeper relationships;
*they usually have a bigger sense of compassion;
*they can examine themselves better;
*these people have less tension, less anger and less anxiety;
*they are much more active;
*they have a better mood, they try to have a smile on their face;
*they act really nice with all the people around them.
We should admire these people and try to learn from their experiences. We should all understand that we do not need to experience something bad in order to become happier people.
But, when something bad happens to us, we need to understand that life offers us many surprises: some of them are good and some of them are bad: we have to see all these surprises as a part of our life, as things hat were supposed to happen. The best we can do is to try to learn something each time that something happens. We should always try to think that there are people who have a harder life, who have bigger problems. We have to be satisfied with what we have and try to keep the smile on our face.
