Posts tagged Negative Thinking
Change Your Thinking – Finding Success Begins With Attitude
Aug 22nd
If you are like many people today, you are dissatisfied with something in your life. Your job, your home, your finances, or perhaps all of them. Most people will confess that they are no happy for one reason or another. There are many who will complain about the situations in their lives, but there are few who will actually take action to change them. What few fail to realize is that one simple rule can completely transform:
Change Your Thinking.
There are several different reasons why people arrive at an undesirable point in their lives, but it is not important how you got there. What is important is how you get to where you want to be.
By shifting your thinking or the way you perceive the world around you, one can literally change their conditions in an instant. If you can learn to change your thinking, you can find the success and happiness you seek.
I am not saying that this will be an easy process. For many it takes practice and a lot of faith. Here are some tips to help you get started.
1. Identify – Sometimes negative thinking is so habitual that we don’t even realize it is occurring, yet it defines our attitude and the choices we make. The best way to identify this behavior is by recognizing the complaining; “I hate my job”, “My husband never pays attention to me”, etc. Once you identify the negative thought you can now work to change it.
2. Shift – Take a moment and review the complaint. Try to put a more positive spin on it. Use words which empower you. Example – Instead of saying “I hate my job” say, “I need to work toward a career which I love” or “I am grateful to have a job in these times, but I will work to find something that will fulfill me more every day”. The use of affirmative statement and positive words help us to set goals and follow through, rather than wallow in our current existence.
3. Move – Now that you are focused on what you DO want, rather than what you DO NOT want, take some very definitive actions toward getting there. You can create a TO DO list of actions that need to be accomplished in order to get you to the goal you have. Be careful to keep only positive actions on your TO DO list and do not focus on whether they may be too difficult. This will only work to stop you from moving forward. Instead, take each step, in order, and complete it. No holds barred, just do everything you can to make it happen. When #1 is done move to #2, and so on. You will find that you will gain momentum as you go and soon you will have fulfilled your goal.
It is important to stay as positive as possible, focusing on the good in any situation. Even the worst situations in life, if nothing else, help us to grow, learn, and become better people. See them as gifts or challenges rather than obstacles. This will be the most difficult part of the process as it is far too easy to slip back into the negative merry-go-round. You have seen where this gets you, so don’t go back there.
Change your thinking and you can find the success you have always wanted.
Negative Thinking! The RUT!
Aug 17th
You get up in the morning…
It actually isn’t going too bad…
You have a relatively relaxing morning getting ready for work. You’re feeling just fine today! Get into the car and head off to work. You stop on the way to get a coffee! You are feeling even better at the coffee shop as you pick up your drink! Get back into your car…
And…
SPILL THE COFFEE ALL OVER THE PASSENGER CAR SEAT!
Yuk!
Oh, that does it alright!
That okay, fine mood you were in is GONE! Now, you are irritated! And, for good reason, right? I mean, your passenger car seat is at minimum in need of a serious professional deep cleaning! Now, you have to head into work with this less than optimal attitude!
Once you get to work, you notice you are irritated by co-workers, your pushy boss, and all of the deadlines that are showing up on your calendar.
After work, you hop back into your coffee scented car and head home.
At home, you notice that you are easily irritated by your kids…
You can’t stand looking at how disorganized the house is…
You cannot even relax enough to focus on your favorite TV show…
If you’re thinking “this cannot all be caused by that unrelated coffee covered car seat!”
You’re right!
It isn’t…
The coffee scented vehicle was just the impetus! The problem is your negative thinking patterns! And that car seat incident got you right into it! Yep, you’re in it alright! In the negative thinking rut! It can be very hard to get out of! It can be challenging at times to even notice that you are in the dreaded negatively rut! And, that scares me! I hope it scares you too! Because what that says to me is that a negative thinking pattern is way more common than it should be! That’s a problem!
So, what can be done?
How do you know when you are in this negativity rut?
How can you spot it?
It seems like it can be such a common thinking state, that some of us may not even notice when we are thinking in this negative pattern.
Well, there are some signs that you can watch out for in yourself!
If you notice some of these signs, and, you really want to change your pattern of negative thinking…
You can identify these signs and try to find a way to change your thinking pattern when you know the negativity is coming on in full force!
Or, the alternative……
Could be that you live the rest of your life in the negativity rut!
I mean it……
It is very easy to get caught up in that thinking pattern! And, it isn’t the easiest to get out of! You really have to try!
Okay, some of the thought patterns to watch out for to avoid getting into that negative thinking pattern, here it goes…
The signs to look for:
I WILL BE HAPPY ONCE I…
Problem – If you believe that you cannot be happy until you earn a certain status, make a certain amount of money, or get some possession, then you will never reach happiness. That last necessary aspect will always seem like it is just out of your reach. The problem is that once we do reach many of the goals we have set for ourselves, we are not satisfied, we want more!
Solution – Learn to be happy right now! I mean right now, with whatever it is you have and right where you are! Happiness should not be a state we are all trying to eventually get to, it really should be arrived at right now! That’s how it really works anyway, to tell you the truth!
Learn to see the positive aspects of your situation!
And, yes, there are some!
I have heard countless examples of stories where the teller is adamant that there are simply no positive aspects to it.
Guess what? I found some! I always do!
That tells me that there are positive aspects to every situation know to man!
I WISH I WERE AS…….AS………
Problem – You will probably never feel that you are as good looking, talented, sculpted, rich as someone else! Your brain will always be able to pick out some one or some thing that is better if you look hard enough! If we continue comparing ourselves to others, we will constantly fail! We will always feel that our attributes pale in comparison to others!
Solution – Stop comparing yourself to others! Look for your strengths instead! What are your accomplishments? What are you good at? What do you love about yourself? Learn to love yourself right now, not the person you want to eventually become!
SEEING OTHERS BECOME SUCCESSFUL MAKES ME JEALOUS AND RESENTFUL
Problem – I love this one, because first of all, you are assuming that very, very few people can actually become successful! This isn’t so, lots of people can become successful in many different ways!
Solution – Learn to admire others success and learn from their experiences! You fully have the ability to be successful too! You already are successful in multiple ways if you look at your life accurately and are honest with yourself!
I AM A MISERABLE FAILURE, I CAN’T SEEM TO DO ANYTHING RIGHT
Problem – Everyone is a failure if you look at it in this manner! Everyone has failed, many times, at many things! I have certainly failed at many things, more times that I can even count!
Solution – Keep your successes in mind and just ignore the trials you view as failures! Just don’t even worry about those failures, don’t concentrate one them at all! Start keeping a journal and document your successes each day. When you look back at that journal and see all the accomplishments you made over a stretch of time, you will have a very positive feeling!
WHY DO BAD THINGS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME
Problem – Bad things happen to everyone! If you choose to dwell on the bad things, you will become frustrated and it will bring your entire mood and demeanor down!
Solution – Try to start viewing “bad things” as just part of the flow of life! They happen, no avoiding it! Suffering and pain all go away eventually! They are time limited, no matter how bad it seems! All pain goes away! Meanwhile, don’t let it hold you back! Look toward something positive that is in your future! Learn more to take the bad experiences in stride! Learn from bad experiences because they are actually all very valuable learning opportunities for us! And that is really just a start!
I think we could probably go on for days identifying and analyzing thinking patterns and signs to watch for!
Do you notice any in yourself that you really think should be addressed?
