Posts tagged Love
9 Ways to Boost Your Self Esteem!
Oct 11th
Feeling good about who we are is very important. Faith in your own abilities is very necessary so that you don’t ask everybody for the approval. If you feel good about yourself then you will always be confident. Attaching one’s own happiness with the outside world will create more emptiness. I know people who spend lot of time in “malls”, “multiplexes” and buy things which are “not important but luxurious”. Getting lost in the outer world just to get the emotional boost will not work permanently.
Self esteem and self image are closely connected. How you see yourself in your mind’s eye will affect how you feel about yourself. Workings on your outer image will surly boost your self esteem but it will be temporary again. You will have to work from the inside out. First change from within and then work on your image.
I have already shown you the signs of low self esteem in the previous article. Following are the steps to boost your self esteem and change your life from within-
1- Accept yourself, i.e. your behavior, your nature, your failures etc. We all have something in us that we don’t like and we react when we see the same in others. By accepting these traits in us we become less judgmental of others. Love your flaws/mistakes and forgive yourself for loosing so much in life.
2- Stop being negative. Observe your negative self talk. Know the way you talk and what meaning you give to the circumstances around you. The moment you start with a negative statement or a comment in your mind or otherwise just stop then and there. Negative thinking causes negative emotions, negative feelings and depression, as a result your self esteem gets affected and you feel inferior. Some people call themselves “Unlucky” and hate their own existence. If you are one of them then you should know that you yourself are responsible to change your life.
3- Change your attitude from negative to positive. This needs positive thinking all the time. Always find the good meaning of any circumstances. Learn to change the perception. Be centered and always find something to learn from the negative people or the circumstances. If you are judgmental and always find the negative in others then your attitude is the problem not them.
4- Take care of your mind, body and soul. Negligence in any area will affect you negatively. Closely observe what goes on in your mind. Exercise for the body and meditate for the mind and soul. Meditation changes your thought pattern; as a result the frequency of the re-occurring negative thoughts reduces. Find time for yourself to get connected with your inner self.
5- Be confident. When you start working on these steps you will automatically feel confident about yourself. You will smile often and take things lightly. You will love your achievements and always be genuinely happy with who ever you come in contact with.
6- If you are a too much giving type then learn to take care of yourself. Neglecting your own soul will harm you more in long term. Give yourself a treat or a gift. Be gentle with yourself. Women mostly have low self esteem. They love others but themselves. They have no time for themselves but for everybody. Take care of your health and appearance. Unless you are good with yourself you can’t take care of others so be good with yourself.
7- If you are a bully type then try to find out what you are hiding from yourself and others. If you are arrogant or bully just to prove that you are confident and powerful then you are at fault. It means you have a low self esteem and you are hiding your weakness from the world. Don’t work against yourself by being difficult.
8- Say “No” to the negative labels or criticism given by other people. Just believe in yourself. If you accept the labels given by others then you will be lost and harm yourself more.
9- Finally always be happy and bring difference to someone’s life by helping them. When we bring happiness in someone’s life then our own life becomes more meaningful.
Healthy self esteem means you love yourself. Loving yourself does not mean indulging or hurting others by being selfish. It means accepting yourself with all the flaws and the plus points in you. Spiritually, loving yourself means protecting yourself from all the negative stuff in life. This means not to become negative or depressed. Not to feel rejected, angry or resentful. Not to compare or judge… and so on.
You need to work on yourself step by step. You won’t see the changes instantly but if you are persistent enough to bring out the change in you then very soon you will see the difference in your attitude. You will consciously change the way you see yourself and others. You just can’t work for few days and continue to become negative it is a constant work of a life time.
I wish you all the best.
Vandana
Learning To Love Yourself
Oct 10th
When you come from an over critical family, it is often hard to find your self esteem once you get older. I have often been horrified at the behaviour of parents who are constantly comparing their children to each other or to other children, or even announcing blithely how the child had impacted negatively on their lives as if it were the child’s decision to be born.
The impact of these selfish or ignorant parents is manifold. The person has to learn how to love themselves as they risk getting into very dependent relationships, all the while seeking the love they felt they never had. It is quite a burden to place on anyone. and the relationship invariably suffers.
One way to combat the old lingering feelings of worthlessness is to go back in time to when you were young and vulnerable and heard all the negativity being hurled at you. Try and remember what you wanted to hear and tell those things to yourself now. You are in charge now and you are the adult so rewrite history. Tell yourself the things that your parents could not tell you. Take the importance and respect away from people who don’t deserve it.
Perhaps if you yourself have difficulty saying kind words to yourself you might be able to understand more the difficulties that they had doing so. Perhaps they too had harsh parenting. Warm affection does not always come easily to everyone, so if your parent or parents were like that then it is their loss but you don’t have to follow in their footsteps to be unkind to you.
Do the exact opposite and get into the habit of only saying nurturing and positive things to yourself from now on.
