Posts tagged Love
The Unknown Self – Is There a Cure For Narcissism?
Nov 19th
Are you living with someone who has a narcissist personality and are wondering if there is a cure?
Understanding Narcissistic Behaviour
Narcissistic people wear a mask of confidence that they project out into their fragile world with great self-assurance, which is covering up deep insecurities and fears through an inflated self-image. Narcissist people are very good at lying, but even better at believing their own lies. They create a distorted reality as they pull others into their web. Narcissists strive for control of their own life, and the lives of people who are close to them. Unfortunately they are unconscious of the fact that it is them who are out of control.
Narcissistic people are unable to reveal their true authentic self, simply because they are unaware of who they are. On an unconscious level they actually hide from themselves and the world around them, locked into a perceived reality of their own making, locked in with suppressed negative emotions. These emotions emanate from them suppressed and confined in the world they have created, a world designed purely for the purpose of feeling in control, to progress, if you can call living life in a fantasy world progressing! Within their world they function from their own inflated ego The need to control everything and everyone produces acting out behaviors such as -
Being distantArrogantIntimidatingThreateningBehaving arrogantly and haughtilyProjecting superiority, and all importantRaging and ranting when distressed
Narcissists desperately need admiration and approval from outside of them self. Being recognized as being superior and believing they can never be affected by anything or anyone their fragile ego. What they what NPD’s fail to acknowledge is they are negatively effecting their whole living reality, and the people who love them.
When a Narcissist feels wounded or betrayed they often set out to hurt whatever or whoever they feel has betrayed or angered them. They suffer delusions that their perceived betrayer feels the same about them, and is likely to act in the same way. However, when it suits whatever purpose they have in mind they act charming and even seductive, and become your best friend. Fortunately emotionally balanced people recognize the traits and move out of their circle as quickly as they can.
People with NPD can experience mood change from high to lows. When high on self grandiose a narcissist is so dysfunctional in their behaviour they often revert to self sabotaging them self completely unaware of any danger signals. So, the question is, what created the behaviours that become so much a part of Narcissistic survival? What established the set of principles, beliefs that really do not serve them. Deep down a they are is so much more than their conditioned behaviours. Childhood negative programming can create two of our greatest fears,
The fear of loving anything or anyoneThe fear of being loved by anything or anyone
What Causes Narcissism?
Childhood and parental neurosisBeing over protected or abused by parents, carers, or siblingsThe feeling of betrayal, and seeing others betrayed around you in early childhoodLack of trustBeing looked up to by peers, when really you felt lost scared or inadequateare just a few of the factors involved in creating a negative narcissistic personality.
Early childhood conditioning, and childhood neurosis can often manifests from the feelings of:
AngerHurtSadnessFearGuilt
Which ultimately leads to suppressed feelings of resentment. At a very early age parental neurosis and childhood conditioning together with significant negative emotional events cause these negative feelings (which young children do not understand). Through lack of understanding and no knowledge of how to deal with feelings, the child internalized them (takes them inside). They are unconsciously pushed into a metaphorical black bag (the unconscious mind) and the strings tightly pulled closed.
Later in life the suppressed negative emotions start to surface as bad feelings, and having no real understanding of how to deal with them they are projected through behaviour on to others or objects. Remember, the blame is always outside the self (always a projection). Whatever goes wrong in the life of a narcissist, it is always the fault of thing or someone else.
A narcissist lives in a world of cause and effect, a world where they are ruler of their perceived empire. All the negative emotions that were established and suppressed all those years ago, all the well established outdated behaviours that are used to control, manipulate and psychologically play with the very people they need, but so easily reject. These emotions are acted out everyday as a release for unconscious constrained, immature negative feelings. The feeling of having control over others gains a false sense of security, a false sense of being powerfulness.
Is there a cure for Narcissism?
A narcissist first needs to recognize they have built their relationships on the foundations of unstable negative emotions. If a person has come to a place in their life where there behaviours keep hurting others so they can maintain their own feelings of control, then is it perhaps time for them and their partners to reconsider the situation. Because what a Narcissist will undoubtedly create within their personal world is the very situation they least desire, and everything they think they control they can end up losing. If their outdated negative feelings and behaviours have a purpose and the purpose was to teach something, what is it that a narcissist needs to really understand, what is it that they need to ‘let go’ of in order for the problems, they keep unwittingly creating, to completely disappear?
There is a great deal information about the negative traits of narcissistic personality disorder, but very little about the positive traits of narcissism. Freud believed that we are born with narcissistic traits and that they are an essential part of us. I believe that healthy narcissism assists us in many ways and without it we would find it hard to balance our own needs when it comes to relating to the people around us.
According to Dr. Roy Baumeister, a Social Psychologist, healthy balanced narcissism is a mature, balanced love of oneself coupled with a stable sense of self-worth and self-esteem. Healthy narcissism implies knowledge of one’s boundaries and a proportionate and realistic appraisal of one’s achievements and traits.
I invite you to take the first step to understanding narcissism. My Precision Therapy Self Hypnosis Audio, The Unknown Self is specifically designed for people who are labelled with Narcissism, or narcissistic traits, and their partners. Understanding narcissism is the first step towards emotional healing, the first step towards find your true self.
Who Is Influencing Your Life?
Oct 28th
It is the statement that used to make you cringe as a teenager. The one mom use to always use when she disagreed with your choice of friends. But does the statement hold true? Someone asked me today about my thoughts on why it is important to surround yourself with successful people. My first thought was, “What classifies success?” The truth is, it doesn’t matter. Everyone has a different definition of success. What is important is not losing your passion for what you love. It is important to continue to strive toward your goals and to never stop dreaming dreams. So many peoples lives have become stagnant. It isn’t that these people don’t have dreams, they have lost their burning desire to attain those dreams. A lot of what causes this is the inability to surround themselves with people who motivate and challenge them. Surrounding yourself with people who motivate and challenge you, keep you on a course to achieving your goals. It holds you to a sense of accountability.
Here’s another way I like to think of it. Picture a group of coals when they are heating your food. As a group, the coals will draw heat from one another, keeping them hot for a long period of time. But if you remove a single coal from the group, it will grow cold in just a matter of minutes. The same is true for us. If you surround yourself with people who share your same beliefs and passion for life, you are more likely to attain true happiness. You stay motivated because as a whole you draw strength from one another. I once read that “confidence is contagious”. If that is true, then so is negativity and lack of motivation. Negativity is so strong that is can literally ruin people’s lives just has fast as you blink an eye.
“The people you associate with and share ideas with have a major influence on how you choose to act upon or not act upon your dreams.” So doesn’t it seem easier to accomplish what you set forth to do when you surround yourself with people who are also striving for more than a stagnant existence?
