Posts tagged Loneliness
Focused Energy
Aug 12th
“Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition, is not only a waste of energy but the worst habit you can possibly have.” -Andrew Carnegie
The average man and woman have no idea how they expend their energy. Let’s imagine that each day you have been given a supply of energy to use and it’s up to you how you choose to use it. Your thoughts, feelings and emotions are all a part of this energy supply and depending on the quality of them is what will determine how fast or slow you wipe out your supply and how you will experience life.
You’ve heard of people who say they are emotionally drained. You can only imagine how this is possible. Thoughts, feelings and emotions that drag you down, wipe you out, pull you apart and have you at your wits end will deplete your level the fastest.
Fear of something happening or not happening. Stress over whatever; work, kids, money, family, life in general. Loss is a big one. Anger, hatred, jealousy, depression, worry, loneliness or any emotions that fit inside the “negative” category will clean your energy supply clock so to speak.
And to top it off, these kinds of thoughts, feelings and emotions use up so much more energy than their counterparts; joy, love; peace; kindness, intent, forgiveness; faith and harmony which by the way will actually replenish your levels.
The reality is that life CAN be tough. We are all thrown a lot of stuff to deal with and depending on how you choose to react to what you are dealt will determine how you use your energy.
When events occur, regardless of what they may be, we are all going to have a reaction to them. Initially they may take the wind out of your sails or knock you off your feet but that doesn’t mean the ship will sink or that you can’t pick yourself back up again.
But, depending on where you focus your energy, i.e. thoughts, emotions and feelings about any given situation will decide how much of your supply you lose. And this loss will directly affect the quality of your life.
When in the midst of some kind of turmoil it would help if you simply stop and breathe. Go inside yourself where harmony and peace reside and rest for just a minute. Know that ALL things will work out somehow, some way and that you have the strength to get through anything.
Tap into the ever present supply of healing, peace and harmony which is always there; your spirit. Know that when you switch the direction of your energy from that which zaps you to that which renews and fills you; you will replenish your supply and it will leave you empowered instead of weakened.
Draining your energy through a constant vigil on the negative is a choice. You can build your energy by focusing on your intent. What is the outcome you are after? What is it that you want to feel? What is it that you want to experience? How can focusing on what makes you feel bad make you feel better?
We all look for outside factors to make us feel better or to make things better when the truth is all that you really need you already have. All you have to do is tap into that energy field within you that will fill you up when you are down and that will bring you peace where there is chaos.
You are the only one who can choose whether you will drain yourself or fill yourself. It’s all on where you focus your thoughts, feelings and emotions! Are you a zapper or a tapper?
Slow Down and Enjoy Relationships
Jul 17th
I keep my time saved in a box
From going fast in cars
I’ve piled it up high
From saying hello to friends with a quick goodbye
~Kathryn Williams, Flicker
Editor’s note: This is a guest post from Corey Allan of Simple Marriage.
The world is seemingly moving at a faster pace. Everywhere you turn, the pace is quick. Deadlines are moved up, workload is increased, kid’s schedules are packed, to-do lists are long, housework never ends – it’s chaos.
At least it feels this way.
Has the world really sped up? Are there more things happening today than 50 years ago? No, and no.
Some things around us may involve more pressure and feel like it’s moving faster, but many times it only feels this way. Thanks to the Internet and cable we hear about everything that happens, immediately.
Our interconnectedness through technology has helped create the illusion of a faster paced world. It’s also created the illusion of less loneliness and isolation – but there’s nothing that can replace real life connections with other people. Physical contact and interaction is vital.
This loss of contact and the perceived pace of the world produces a feeling of chronic anxiousness and a decrease in the ability to find pleasure in some of the simple things.
Honestly, when was the last time you stopped and took in the smell of fresh baked bread? Or colored with crayons? Or walked barefoot in the grass? Or took a few minutes to just breathe?
No where is the impact of our pace felt more than in marriage and family. It’s extremely difficult to move hurriedly through your day and then slow down enough to enjoy your family or your spouse in the evening.
Some of the reasons marriage and family relationships go through sour patches is the squeezing they get from our schedules, disconnection, and pace. It’s easy to get caught up in other things and have the immediate outweigh the important.
To reverse this, here’s a few ideas to try:
Start small.
No change in life is easy or comfortable. Working to let go of the pace around you and creating your own speed takes time and should be attempted in small, incremental steps. Begin by giving yourself permission to slow down. This may seem like a no brainer, but many people believe they don’t have permission to slow down. You do. Whenever life seems to move too fast, take a deep breathe. Three to five slow, deep breaths will slow everything down.
Leave the office.
And I mean leave the office. Shut off all projects, messages, emails, phone calls and conversations and leave the office at the end of the day. Most everything can wait until the next day, so leave it alone until then. As an added help, create a routine to help you disengage from the office on the way home. Walk down the stairs slowly rather than taking the elevator. Drive down tree lined streets rather than the interstate. Walk or bike home from work if possible. Listen to good music while on the train or bus. Stop by the gym for a workout. No matter which way you transition from work to home, make it intentional. Breathe. Relax. Breathe. Let work go. Then walk through the door to your home and enjoy time with those you love.
Turn off all electronic gadgets.
This one is simple. Turn off the phone. The Internet. The television. Spend time talking, playing games, take a walk outside. The point is, unplug and connect with other humans.
Be 100% present.
This is tough at times. But it also is a source of increased tension in life. When I’m with my kids and have other things on my mind, my kids become a pest and source of frustration – at least that’s the way it plays out. When I’ve got work on my mind, my son’s request to play cars is an annoyance rather than an invitation into the world of imaginative play with my child. Whatever you are doing, focus on being 100% present. Multitasking is impossible anyway. Focus on doing one thing at a time and being 100% present while doing it.
Take a walk.
Make it a priority to walk with your spouse and your kids each day. There’s tremendous benefit to being out in nature, even if it’s nature in the city. Want a sure-fire way to improve your marriage? Walk and talk with your spouse at least 30 minutes a day.
Eat outside.
There’s something great about being in nature. There’s something even greater about sharing a meal with others outside. Head to the park for a picnic, eat on the patio at home or restaurants.
Prepare for your day.
Spend a moment at the end of your day preparing for the next day. Pick out clothes, make lunches, talk with your spouse. Then in the morning, before you jump into your day, take some time a simply sit quietly. Enjoy a cup of tea or coffee. Breathe slowly, meditate, pray. What a great way to start each day.
Corey is the editor of Simple Marriage a site filled with laid back information that will make your relationships better. You can subscribe via rss or email.
