Posts tagged Human Beings
How to Be Great at Finding Ways to Get What You Want in Life
Jan 21st
This is about creativity. It’s about our ability to innovate and what’s interesting is that most of us don’t think that we are creative, because maybe we didn’t do art at school or we weren’t good at music but here’s the news – all human beings are creative otherwise we wouldn’t have come out of the cave, we wouldn’t have invented fire, villages and towns, post-it notes and the best invention of all, the i-phone. We are innately creative.
There’s a few reasons why we struggle with this sometimes in our day to day life though and it’s because we get taught as we grow up with our with school, with our parents, with society, with our workplaces not to dream too highly for fear of disappointment. We get taught that knowing what’s wrong with stuff, being a critic, a cynic is a measure of how smart we are and perhaps more importantly of how smart other people will think we are. We get told there’s a right and a wrong answer. I was with a friend of mine’s four year old little girl Sarah the other week and she was colouring-in in her colouring book and she was getting to the fence, and I said “Sarah you’re going to do the fence now, what colour are you going to do the fence, you can colour it anything you want” and Sarah said “brown” and I said “no Sarah you can do the fence any colour at all, it could be blue with yellow dots or anything” and Sarah went “no fences are brown” and that’s what happens to us, right? We learn that there’s a right and a wrong answer. Well actually, if you think about innovation, if you think about solving your problems, if you always follow the right answer, the thing you’ve done before you don’t create a new way round. As the cliche goes ‘if you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got’. So what’s important to be able to figure out how to get what you want, is solid creativity.
One thing is more fundamental than anything else for driving creativity. It’s our ability to separate the generating of ideas from the judging of ideas. Forget whether you believe you are creative or not, just know that if you can separate the generating of ideas from the judging of ideas you will be able to invent things. Here’s how you do it. You think of a bunch of ideas, anything at all and you write them down (without caring if you could do it, if it’s stupid or genius) and then afterwards you judge them. You decide which ones are good and which ones are bad, you mark them out of 10. What you don’t do is have ideas and decide which are good at the same time. You don’t do what we do most of our lives, which is “oh I could do this but no that’ll never work because of this reason,” you don’t judge them because very rarely does a fully formed idea ever come out of our mouth. It’s the combination of lots of thoughts and lots of half formed ideas that allows us to see possibility and gets us to the big idea which really works for us.
Try it for yourself. Don’t judge which are good or bad. Just make a list of a loads of ideas, possible ways you could get something you want, build them up, mess with them, without caring if what you are saying is right or wrong… then when you feel like you’ve exhausted your creativity for now, mark each of the ideas out of 10 based on, ‘there is something about that idea that could work’. Don’t judge it based on “is it perfect and can you do it right now” ‘cos ideas usually need building, but judge it based on, “‘is there something in this idea”. See which ones come to the top, which ones you really like and then look for how you can build or take forward the best 1, 2 or 3 ideas… NO MORE… everything else you have come up with was just your way of getting to the best 3, your working out, like in maths. One thing people often get wrong is having lots of ideas, saving them all and building none of them. What makes this work is identifying the best of the best, throwing away the rest and developing the great ones.
So when you generate ideas, don’t care whether they are good or bad or stupid or indifferent, just think of as many things as you can. If you can do this with other people, all the better, the more brains in this process, the better your outcome. When times are hardest we can be great at this ‘cos we are forced in to it, ‘necessity is the mother of invention,’ but all that shows is we can invent, it’s a choice we can make any time we like.
I promise you, you’re a human being you can invent a way to get anything that you want!
Nobody Knows But Me
Nov 29th
Throughout my life, I have repeatedly witnessed people telling one another what is ‘so’ for them, passing judgment, asserting opinions, etc. I’ve even had it happen to me and quite frankly, it still does. Because human beings learn through experience, it didn’t take long for me to act this way with the people around me. If I saw someone do something I thought was wrong or ineffective, I very quickly jumped in with my own opinion because I ‘knew’ a better way. Now, in no way am I suggesting we don’t have good ideas or intentions; of course we do. My point is we can no longer interact like this with one another and still create the lives and world we say we want!
I see people all around me stepping out, leading with their heart and following a path into a more expansive life; yet, there are those (and there probably always will be a handful of) folks who doubt, question, judge and assert alternatives to the ones truly creating their life. The challenge is to actually consider what ‘they’ say and not dismiss it. Keep in mind, there is wisdom all around us even with the naysayers. Our job is to do more than just listen to the words; it’s to embrace it as an opportunity to try ‘them’ on, reflect, look for the bigger meaning and whatever you do, don’t stop walking your walk. In doing so, you’ve empowered the experience with the other person (you’ve turned his or her judgment into an observation) and used it to grow. Who cares if there’s nothing useful, you’ve still grown just in the shifting of your context. Plus, you are carving away at a belief system, and determining what works and what doesn’t in order to truly define you!
The definition of ‘definition’:
1) the act of defining or making definite, distinct, or clear.
2) the formal statement of the meaning or significance of a word, phrase, etc
Who are you? Are you the flaky friend; the mentally broken mom; the really cool cousin; the supermom; or the……..??? You see, the list will go on much like the song that never ends. Now, as for me? I am not a label for starters. I am not a business owner; an Aromatherapist; a CDA; an instructor; a crazy loon; a troublesome daughter, annoying sister, strict mom, etc. I am love. I am patience. I am enthusiasm. I am inspiration. I am trust. I am confidence. I am…..
I must say, it took me a while to really detach from everything I’ve ever been born into, married into, gone to school to become, received a certificate for, or was called due to a misunderstanding. From the time I was 3, I knew I was so much more. I felt contained within my body and longed for someone to give me some idea about what was going on! Well, being 3, you’d think my parents would lend a hand in this department. Sadly, they did not. Well, it was sad for only a small portion of my life because I was determined TO understand. Luckily, I was adventurous with a great appreciation for mystery (always loved my ‘Nancy Drew’ books); so, I made it my mission in life to get to the heart of this energy they named ‘Tammy’.
And what a journey it’s been. If I had continued to ‘own’ the labels I’d been handed, I couldn’t possibly feel the joy and elation for life that I do and all the opportunities I’m presented with on a daily basis i.e. sitting outside to gaze at the stars! I’d still be to worried about being society’s definition of a good mom. This is where I ask, who came up with those definitions AND why do we adhere to them? What constitutes being a good mom? And before I continue, I’m aware that we have our fair share of abuse in this world; however, I’m not talking about that. I’m referring to the countless moms who bend over backwards to make sure their duties are seen to before engaging in anything else that doesn’t involve cooking, cleaning, homework, reading, brushing teeth, bathing and so on; yet I wonder, if we’re committed to changing this world to be heart centered, peaceful and loving, then why aren’t we modeling it?
We’re modeling labels instead. Unfortunately, the people we’re modeling them too are heart centered beings (we’re born that way) and if he or she is a highly sensitive one, then ‘Houston, we have a problem’. I was one of those sensitive and inquisitive creatures. So, my path was a conscious choice AND I learned so much along the way (as I still am). The biggest one is I am NOT what you think I am AND I can be anything I want to be. I am dignity in the face of adversity. I am grace in the face chaos. I am stillness in the face of confusion. I am is what got me here: excited and in love with life. To me, ‘I am’ is a philosophy and when we come from this place, we’re feeling. Look back at the various ‘I am’ statements. Each one describes a feeling and when we allow ourselves to feel, we’re tapping into our divinity and it’s this divinity that guides us on our journey.
In all fairness, I realize it’s not the fastest process to shed the labels nor is it comfortable. So, start with a few; even one and allow yourself to feel what it feels like to not have ‘that’ on your back. I must warn you, the more you allow yourself to feel, the more you want to release; however, from this point forward, please don’t take on the opinions, etc of others. Briefly consider them and learn; that’s it. Remember, letting someone else tell you who you are is crazy making because nobody knows you but you!
Before I close, I wanted to mention that October 7th was the anniversary of Edgar Allen Poe’s passing; in honor of him I share the following quote, from the ‘Tell Tale Heart’. Poe was a gifted writer; yet was labeled crazy. Interestingly, I see him as passion. Two very different considerations; unfortunately, the result of his experience with society crippled his ability to be passion, so he did what he could do to remain connected to his heart which undermineundermined his health. This line tells me, he knew who he was, too!
‘And have I not told you that what you mistake for madness is but over-acuteness of the sense?’
