Posts tagged Good Reason
Negative Thinking! The RUT!
Aug 17th
You get up in the morning…
It actually isn’t going too bad…
You have a relatively relaxing morning getting ready for work. You’re feeling just fine today! Get into the car and head off to work. You stop on the way to get a coffee! You are feeling even better at the coffee shop as you pick up your drink! Get back into your car…
And…
SPILL THE COFFEE ALL OVER THE PASSENGER CAR SEAT!
Yuk!
Oh, that does it alright!
That okay, fine mood you were in is GONE! Now, you are irritated! And, for good reason, right? I mean, your passenger car seat is at minimum in need of a serious professional deep cleaning! Now, you have to head into work with this less than optimal attitude!
Once you get to work, you notice you are irritated by co-workers, your pushy boss, and all of the deadlines that are showing up on your calendar.
After work, you hop back into your coffee scented car and head home.
At home, you notice that you are easily irritated by your kids…
You can’t stand looking at how disorganized the house is…
You cannot even relax enough to focus on your favorite TV show…
If you’re thinking “this cannot all be caused by that unrelated coffee covered car seat!”
You’re right!
It isn’t…
The coffee scented vehicle was just the impetus! The problem is your negative thinking patterns! And that car seat incident got you right into it! Yep, you’re in it alright! In the negative thinking rut! It can be very hard to get out of! It can be challenging at times to even notice that you are in the dreaded negatively rut! And, that scares me! I hope it scares you too! Because what that says to me is that a negative thinking pattern is way more common than it should be! That’s a problem!
So, what can be done?
How do you know when you are in this negativity rut?
How can you spot it?
It seems like it can be such a common thinking state, that some of us may not even notice when we are thinking in this negative pattern.
Well, there are some signs that you can watch out for in yourself!
If you notice some of these signs, and, you really want to change your pattern of negative thinking…
You can identify these signs and try to find a way to change your thinking pattern when you know the negativity is coming on in full force!
Or, the alternative……
Could be that you live the rest of your life in the negativity rut!
I mean it……
It is very easy to get caught up in that thinking pattern! And, it isn’t the easiest to get out of! You really have to try!
Okay, some of the thought patterns to watch out for to avoid getting into that negative thinking pattern, here it goes…
The signs to look for:
I WILL BE HAPPY ONCE I…
Problem – If you believe that you cannot be happy until you earn a certain status, make a certain amount of money, or get some possession, then you will never reach happiness. That last necessary aspect will always seem like it is just out of your reach. The problem is that once we do reach many of the goals we have set for ourselves, we are not satisfied, we want more!
Solution – Learn to be happy right now! I mean right now, with whatever it is you have and right where you are! Happiness should not be a state we are all trying to eventually get to, it really should be arrived at right now! That’s how it really works anyway, to tell you the truth!
Learn to see the positive aspects of your situation!
And, yes, there are some!
I have heard countless examples of stories where the teller is adamant that there are simply no positive aspects to it.
Guess what? I found some! I always do!
That tells me that there are positive aspects to every situation know to man!
I WISH I WERE AS…….AS………
Problem – You will probably never feel that you are as good looking, talented, sculpted, rich as someone else! Your brain will always be able to pick out some one or some thing that is better if you look hard enough! If we continue comparing ourselves to others, we will constantly fail! We will always feel that our attributes pale in comparison to others!
Solution – Stop comparing yourself to others! Look for your strengths instead! What are your accomplishments? What are you good at? What do you love about yourself? Learn to love yourself right now, not the person you want to eventually become!
SEEING OTHERS BECOME SUCCESSFUL MAKES ME JEALOUS AND RESENTFUL
Problem – I love this one, because first of all, you are assuming that very, very few people can actually become successful! This isn’t so, lots of people can become successful in many different ways!
Solution – Learn to admire others success and learn from their experiences! You fully have the ability to be successful too! You already are successful in multiple ways if you look at your life accurately and are honest with yourself!
I AM A MISERABLE FAILURE, I CAN’T SEEM TO DO ANYTHING RIGHT
Problem – Everyone is a failure if you look at it in this manner! Everyone has failed, many times, at many things! I have certainly failed at many things, more times that I can even count!
Solution – Keep your successes in mind and just ignore the trials you view as failures! Just don’t even worry about those failures, don’t concentrate one them at all! Start keeping a journal and document your successes each day. When you look back at that journal and see all the accomplishments you made over a stretch of time, you will have a very positive feeling!
WHY DO BAD THINGS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME
Problem – Bad things happen to everyone! If you choose to dwell on the bad things, you will become frustrated and it will bring your entire mood and demeanor down!
Solution – Try to start viewing “bad things” as just part of the flow of life! They happen, no avoiding it! Suffering and pain all go away eventually! They are time limited, no matter how bad it seems! All pain goes away! Meanwhile, don’t let it hold you back! Look toward something positive that is in your future! Learn more to take the bad experiences in stride! Learn from bad experiences because they are actually all very valuable learning opportunities for us! And that is really just a start!
I think we could probably go on for days identifying and analyzing thinking patterns and signs to watch for!
Do you notice any in yourself that you really think should be addressed?
Organizing Lessons From Toy Story 3
Aug 14th
As I did around this time last year, I just saw a Disney-Pixar film that offers some great organizing lessons. This year it was Toy Story 3 that lured me from the comfort of my couch. The premise of the story is that Andy, who we met as a young boy in the first movie of the series, is getting ready to go to college and must decide what to do with his toys. This story tugged at my heart not only because I have son named Andy who’s in college, but also because I see many of my clients face the same struggles as Andy while they move towards creating a new, better life for themselves. I’d love to hear your thoughts on my observations.
The oldies but goodies are goodies for a reason. Andy had a large number of toys that he had enjoyed throughout his childhood – he didn’t seem to be constantly bringing in new toys. What oldies but goodies do you own? While they may not give you the thrill of being new or offer the excitement of finding bargain, there’s probably a good reason that you prefer these things. Whether it’s a pair of pants that fit you just right, a paring knife that makes life in the kitchen easier, or a piece of artwork you enjoy pondering, many things in our life are hard to replace – so stop trying. Don’t make impulse purchases, or even conscious purchases, if you already have something that suits your needs – you’ll end up having less clutter.
It may be easier than you think to let go of things you don’t need. Molly, Andy’s sister, had a bedroom filled with things that were no longer meaningful to her. Until her mom prompted her, she hadn’t taken the time to pare them down. Once she got started, however, Molly had an easy time letting go of a lot of things she didn’t want or need. Her mom’s encouragement gave her the motivation she needed to move things to the donate bin or even the trash, so she could surround herself with things that were meaningful to her now. Is there someone who can encourage or help you let go of the things that no longer make your life fulfilling? If you’re a parent, can you help your kids learn to set limits by helping them evaluate their belongings?
Your possessions may not align with where you are in life. Andy (and his mom) recognized that he was entering a new phase of his life and his toys no longer played a part in that life. Like sending kids off to college, there comes a time when we should release our belongings to live the next phase of their lives and move us along to our next phase. Sometimes it’s hard to face the reality that we’re getting older or that our life isn’t what it once was or what we’d dreamed it would be. We might regret that our career is less stellar than we’d hoped, that that we no longer have time for the hobbies we once enjoyed, that our relationships have changed, etc. Are you hanging onto things because you’re afraid that if you let them go you’ll be giving up on your dreams? Consider how letting them go might give you the physical and metal space to create a new life in alignment with the person you are now.
Others can benefit from your castoffs. Andy donated his toys to someone else so they could provide her with the joy they once had given him. Rather than remaining locked away and forgotten in his toy box, they were able to continue being useful once they left Andy’s house. Are you hanging onto things solely because they’re still usable or because they cost you money? Their usefulness or monetary value isn’t going to be recovered simply by you hanging on to them. Consider extending their meaningful life by donating them to someone whose life can be improved by having them.
