Posts tagged Frustrations
Sketches of Life
Aug 19th
With a lot of things seldom going my way I always find I have every reason to whine, complain and feel frustrated. I have reached a point in life where if I were to look at the things that don’t work I would simply wallow in self pity.
I don’t know if I am the only one who seems to find fault with ‘me’. I always want to blame myself for this and that. Take yesterday, for instance, when I was on my way to town for a presentation. Though it was a wonderful day, I felt the world had yet again short changed me. The weather was too cold, the love of my life wanted to be reassured of my undying devotion, and as the traffic moved at a slower pace towards Muthurwa Market (a notorious market cum bus station in Nairobi) I realized I had forgotten to charge my cell phone.
This meant I could not call the client to warn him I was running late. In short, I had every reason of picking on my poor self. I felt a total wreck, nor good looking and not as qualified. I felt there was nothing right with me. Everything was and still is wrong, wrong, wrong!
I have a friend who even in the face of failure doesn’t see a reason of asking that is wrong. This friend of mine doesn’t do anything extraordinary except leave his house carrying a couple of toothpicks. I remember there was a time he arrived at a job interview without the right kind of certificates. Though he didn’t get the job he was still happy. He still felt he had something going right foe him. He still had his toothpicks.
Toothpicks, you may ask, wondering whether you should refer such a guy to a mental check up. But wait a minute, my friend isn’t crazy. He uses the toothpicks to remind him the importance of maintaining the best asset anyone can ever have, that is the self. We all have families, friends and mentors. But when all the failures and frustrations have been dealt with, there are always two people left. There is God and you.
You can achieve anything you put your mind to, of course, with a lot of help from God and other people. God wants us to be partners with Him in the divine purpose He has for all of us. This means we have to strive to do our best as we pursue our goals in life.
Every goal we have in life should be a road map that we use to reach our preferred destinations. Our success depends on the kind of decisions we make along the winding path we travel as we pursue our goals.
“Of course, all depends on how you react to what happens in your life,” explains my friend, a toothpick dangling from his mouth.
Life will take a new shape the moment you start asking what is right instead of what is wrong with you. Start focusing on what is right with you, and what is wrong will change.
“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change!”
Dr Wayne Dyer
Dealing With the Baggage and the Selective Memory
Aug 11th
Dealing with the bad parts of our stories – now – will mean all parts of the journey – later – will be recalled fondly, then.
There are two types of individuals in the world; those who’ve dealt with their pasts and those who haven’t. And yet, it doesn’t matter which camp we belong in, because these skills of dealing with our emotional baggage – and everyone has some – are required continually and can be learned/learnt at any time.
A Feature of Reconciled Memory
Have you ever wondered why the past often seems rosier than the present?
For instance, the previous company we worked for was (probably) so much better (at least in some ways) than this one we presently work at. Our childhoods – if we’re not scarred by them – we cherish fondly; we’ve forgotten the school bully, the chiding parent, the embarrassing moments of growing up, and the frustrations we experienced in life, particularly related perhaps to the rate or extent of our physical and mental growth. (Adolescence, if we’ll recall, is a horribly painstaking process.)
Our memories flatter our pasts…
Unless that is, if we’re still living in our pasts via an unreconciled account of what took place back then. Never mind; it’s not too late – it’s never too late.
Enjoying Great Memories of Now in the Future
Dealing with our presents and our pasts, now, is sowing into our futures a sense of hopefulness that we can’t even begin to grasp now; it’s an investment – a ‘lick’ – of faith. It is then that we’ll be impressed with the wisdom we had, to undertake this reconciliation process, now.
And this reward pertains to our courage to be honest. Most of the time these issues that hurt us weren’t even our fault, and yet we’re the ones stuck in this space.
Putting the past behind us is perhaps simpler than it seems, if we hit it running, honestly and with all sincerity of commitment. And there’s only truly a thin veneer of fear to deal with if we go at it with guns blazing – and the right sort of loving support in tow.
In doing this, we enjoy a rather selective memory which has reconciled the past and forgiven it – moving on to the more relevant aspects of life, where, in fact, there is good influence to be had and a peace-filled journey to be enjoyed.
? 2010 S. J. Wickham.
