Understanding Narcissistic Behaviour

Narcissistic people wear a mask of confidence that they project out into their fragile world with great self-assurance, which is covering up deep insecurities and fears through an inflated self-image. Narcissist people are very good at lying, but even better at believing their own lies. They create a distorted reality as they pull others into their web. Narcissists strive for control of their own life, and the lives of people who are close to them. Unfortunately they are unconscious of the fact that it is them who are out of control.

Narcissistic people are unable to reveal their true authentic self, simply because they are unaware of who they are. On an unconscious level they actually hide from themselves and the world around them, locked into a perceived reality of their own making, locked in with suppressed negative emotions. These emotions emanate from them suppressed and confined in the world they have created, a world designed purely for the purpose of feeling in control, to progress, if you can call living life in a fantasy world progressing! Within their world they function from their own inflated ego The need to control everything and everyone produces acting out behaviors such as -
Being distantArrogantIntimidatingThreateningBehaving arrogantly and haughtilyProjecting superiority, and all importantRaging and ranting when distressed

Narcissists desperately need admiration and approval from outside of them self. Being recognized as being superior and believing they can never be affected by anything or anyone their fragile ego. What they what NPD’s fail to acknowledge is they are negatively effecting their whole living reality, and the people who love them.

When a Narcissist feels wounded or betrayed they often set out to hurt whatever or whoever they feel has betrayed or angered them. They suffer delusions that their perceived betrayer feels the same about them, and is likely to act in the same way. However, when it suits whatever purpose they have in mind they act charming and even seductive, and become your best friend. Fortunately emotionally balanced people recognize the traits and move out of their circle as quickly as they can.

People with NPD can experience mood change from high to lows. When high on self grandiose a narcissist is so dysfunctional in their behaviour they often revert to self sabotaging them self completely unaware of any danger signals. So, the question is, what created the behaviours that become so much a part of Narcissistic survival? What established the set of principles, beliefs that really do not serve them. Deep down a they are is so much more than their conditioned behaviours. Childhood negative programming can create two of our greatest fears,
The fear of loving anything or anyoneThe fear of being loved by anything or anyone

What Causes Narcissism?
Childhood and parental neurosisBeing over protected or abused by parents, carers, or siblingsThe feeling of betrayal, and seeing others betrayed around you in early childhoodLack of trustBeing looked up to by peers, when really you felt lost scared or inadequateare just a few of the factors involved in creating a negative narcissistic personality.

Early childhood conditioning, and childhood neurosis can often manifests from the feelings of:
AngerHurtSadnessFearGuilt

Which ultimately leads to suppressed feelings of resentment. At a very early age parental neurosis and childhood conditioning together with significant negative emotional events cause these negative feelings (which young children do not understand). Through lack of understanding and no knowledge of how to deal with feelings, the child internalized them (takes them inside). They are unconsciously pushed into a metaphorical black bag (the unconscious mind) and the strings tightly pulled closed.

Later in life the suppressed negative emotions start to surface as bad feelings, and having no real understanding of how to deal with them they are projected through behaviour on to others or objects. Remember, the blame is always outside the self (always a projection). Whatever goes wrong in the life of a narcissist, it is always the fault of thing or someone else.

A narcissist lives in a world of cause and effect, a world where they are ruler of their perceived empire. All the negative emotions that were established and suppressed all those years ago, all the well established outdated behaviours that are used to control, manipulate and psychologically play with the very people they need, but so easily reject. These emotions are acted out everyday as a release for unconscious constrained, immature negative feelings. The feeling of having control over others gains a false sense of security, a false sense of being powerfulness.

Is there a cure for Narcissism?

A narcissist first needs to recognize they have built their relationships on the foundations of unstable negative emotions. If a person has come to a place in their life where there behaviours keep hurting others so they can maintain their own feelings of control, then is it perhaps time for them and their partners to reconsider the situation. Because what a Narcissist will undoubtedly create within their personal world is the very situation they least desire, and everything they think they control they can end up losing. If their outdated negative feelings and behaviours have a purpose and the purpose was to teach something, what is it that a narcissist needs to really understand, what is it that they need to ‘let go’ of in order for the problems, they keep unwittingly creating, to completely disappear?

There is a great deal information about the negative traits of narcissistic personality disorder, but very little about the positive traits of narcissism. Freud believed that we are born with narcissistic traits and that they are an essential part of us. I believe that healthy narcissism assists us in many ways and without it we would find it hard to balance our own needs when it comes to relating to the people around us.

According to Dr. Roy Baumeister, a Social Psychologist, healthy balanced narcissism is a mature, balanced love of oneself coupled with a stable sense of self-worth and self-esteem. Healthy narcissism implies knowledge of one’s boundaries and a proportionate and realistic appraisal of one’s achievements and traits.

I invite you to take the first step to understanding narcissism. My Precision Therapy Self Hypnosis Audio, The Unknown Self is specifically designed for people who are labelled with Narcissism, or narcissistic traits, and their partners. Understanding narcissism is the first step towards emotional healing, the first step towards find your true self.

1. In your mind, react in a hostile and constructive way towards fears.
It is an observation that in every moment of time, fear moves stealthily into your thoughts. Perceive yourself reacting insistently and positively towards those fears. This practice will be a subject of time, before these reactions expand to reality when these situations embarrass in your actual, day-to-day life.

2. Don’t dread to take risks.
Move about the forefront. You have to take risks and set down to do what actually you want to do. Perform What You Fear!

3. Try to do which is impossible.
Do every work with this intention that it can be done, and you can do it, by invoking your inner capability you can do it. Do not at your place with the same pace, if a mistake happens in the length of the way just accurate your actions as you go along.

4. Feel relaxed every time.
When the muscles of the body are kept perfectly relaxed it is impossible to feel fear. It is proved by physiology studies. So identify those contraction muscles and focus on relaxing them the moment you recognize the fear or nervousness creeping in throughout a situation. It is also a common anger management tips that relax your muscles.

5. Always be happy, don’t be feared.
Put back all the feelings of fright and enjoy the feelings that you captured from most pleasure moments ever in your life. What is the thing that strikes the harmony and misses with you a pleasant experience? Think about it! Without any trouble if you exchange your fear with another excellent feeling, then you will be able to convincingly constrain the fear away by pure will power. Immediately modify your internal exchange of ideas to turn around the thought and put a positive twist to it, whenever you identify a negative thought creeping into your mind.

Dress Sharp – Your clothes will certainly affect the way you’ll feel about yourself. No one feels more conscious about your physical appearance, except you. When you feel that you don’t look good, it will change the way you carry yourself in front of other people. But you don’t necessarily need to spend much for this. Simple things like bathing and shaving frequently, as well as wearing clean and decent clothes will certainly make a good difference when it comes to building your self confidence.

Good Posture – The way a person carries himself/herself will certainly make an impression to other people. Those with slumped shoulders and lethargic movements usually bring an image of someone that lacks self confidence. By practicing good posture, especially when in front of so many people, you will instantly feel more confident about yourself. Stand straight and keep your head up, while making an eye contact to the person you interact with. Doing this will surely make a positive impression to the other person.

Speak up – Most of the time, many people would never speak up during group discussions because they are just afraid that other people on that group will judge them for what they are going to say. This fear is not really justified, because in reality, most people are much more accepting than we imagine. In fact, most people on that same group also face exactly the same fears as what you are feeling. By making an effort to speak up in front of them, you’re showing them a good example and they will feel good about you for you are more confident in your own thoughts. Most people that would do this are being recognized as a true leader.

Although there are several factors that could affect your self confidence, and most of these factors are way beyond your control, remember that there are also a number of things that can greatly help you build your self confidence. By using these tips, you’ll certainly easily build that much needed confidence that will take you on the way to success.

At a party you might have spotted a eye-catching girl sitting alone, casually sipping a can of coke. A thought came to your mind that she looks so confident and calm. If you could scan through her transparent mind you would have seen clouds of fears and insecurities, and thoughts like: Aren’t people not talking about why I am all alone? Why haven’t guys come by to say hi to me? Isn’t it because they find me unattractive? I wish I’m more attractive!

Funny enough, you look at some successful people, and see them as lucky, more intelligent and perfect and wish you could trade places with them. Whereas they look at you and think of you as free, without much problems, no bank loans. We feel insecure of people and they themselves feel the same thing of us.

Some business minded people do look at some young business entrepreneur and feel envious. They would say: Hasn’t he all he could need? Such a lucky and rich guy at a young age. I wish my dad and mum had worked things out for me too.

What we’re experiencing is low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence. These in turn is making us lose hope and our self-improvement is slipping from us. The quicker we discard this syndrome of desperation the better.

One of the potent cures for low-esteem is to talk and listen to someone you trust. He could be a friend or a relative of yours. Find that person you find ease and comfort in opening an intimate discussion with. Ask him questions such as: Do you think I’m not well-mannered? Do you think I am boring? Do I have bad breath? Display an open mind and let out your feelings. And in exchange you might xtray what each of you honestly feel of each other, with a view to improving.

Another way to gain self-esteem is to learn to love yourself. If you want to love everybody and everything around you, you must first love yourself passionately. You cannot give out love without having it in abundant.

You could also gain more self-esteem by practising self-improvement. It is a way of making yourself a better person. It is inspiring yourself to do things that will improve your ability to forge ahead and make achievements in life. By practising self-improvement you will be an inspiration to people around you and you’ll be helping others.

To improve your self-esteem you have to stop perceiving yourself as a second-rate human beings. Erace degrading thoughts from your mind, and accept your present position as a vantage point to move towards all that you want to achieve. You also have to stop comparing yourself to others negatively. Actually, if you look closer you’re bound to find that you have some areas where you’re better than the other person.

It’s pretty much everything.

Ever found yourself pacing in front of the bathroom mirror wondering if you lost your mojo? Wondering if this time you just might not make it?

Nothing is more important right now (and any day) than you believing in yourself.
Nothing.

Not how many books you read. Not how many mentors you enlist. Not the conferences and all-day seminars that you “make time for”…

It about you and what’s in your head.

The October issue of SUCCESS Magazine had an interesting poll in it. When they asked their readers: “How do you need to improve to live your full potential?”, more then 60% responded in two key answers. That they needed to believe that they could do it or that they needed the mental courage to take the first step. Both are pretty much the same answer.

Belief.

What’s really interesting is that not a single person felt that they needed more training or a better education or even more experience. None of that really mattered. They needed to get past their own fears and pain and believe in the possibility that they could achieve their success.

What separates great ideas from super-human success is your ability to see beyond the ordinary and trust yourself to be the person that you really want to be.

It’s you trading validation and immediate gratification for an almost illogical trust in your passion for what does not exist and your dedication to mind-blowing effort – in spite of how bad it hurts.

It’s not easy.

You might not have enough facts to back up your wild ideas about the future. You might not be able to draft a spreadsheet with how fast your business with grow. It might not be logical.

But here are two reasons why belief in yourself is the battle you need to be fighting:

1. You are all you really have…

When it comes down to it, you’re all you have. Not your mom. Not your dad. Not your friends or the Twitter posse you update 5.8 times per day. It’s all you.

When you’re up (or headed there fast) you can sometimes get fooled into thinking that the world is behind you – waiting to run to your aid, even at the cost of personal peril. Take a trip “down” or hit a bumpy patch and you’ll realize the sad truth that “It’s all you…”

And that’s a powerful perspective. So start believing now. Before you learn that lesson the hard way.

2. When you’re right you can be wrong…

At least that is how it can look to everyone around you. Guess what? You might have to push and shove for year after year (maybe an entire lifetime) before you find the success that you are looking for.

You’ve been right the entire time but you looked like a fool to everyone around you along the way. You need to get used to ignoring how you look to others around you and keep your mind focused on your dream.

If you chase your detractors around trying to convince them of your nobility, you’ll end of emotionally drained and far off the mark. Instead you need to remind yourself of why you are doing this in the first place.
Believe.

The battle isn’t to learn more, sell faster, or to outpace the competition.

The battle for you is to believe.

It’s the fight deep down in your soul to really think that you can win.

And that makes a pretty big difference.

In fact, scientific studies have shown that a 20 minute Yoga Nidra session is equal to 8 hours of sleep. That’s why in this article you will discover 3 benefits of Yoga Nidra and how it can improve your life in so many different ways.

3 Benefits of Yoga Nidra!

Yoga Nidra Benefit #1 – Allows you to experience a greater sense of inner bliss

Once you experience the state of inner bliss in any of its shapes or forms there is a certain amount of power, calmness, and sense of peace that begins to take over you.

What’s more is that unlike outer stimulation’s that require lots of energy and effort but to achieve and maintain.

The feeling of inner bliss grows inside of you and allows you let go of many of things that are no longer serving you which interestingly enough leads to more things that can and do serve you in the real world as well.

Yoga Nidra Benefit #2 – Strengthens and improve your relationships both personal and in the work place

Oftentimes there is an unconscious struggle that we have in a variety of different relationships that we have with people that is based on a fear of being alone, abandoned, or not being a part of the group.

Yet, when you begin to tap into the benefits of practicing Yoga Nidra on a daily basis you will begin to feel the connection of:source” that is much greater than anything you can imagine.

Of course, this connection with source will allow you to let go of many of the fears and unhealthy emotions that were getting in the way of you communicating with those you interact with in a healthy and empowering way and more than that the practice of Yoga Nidra allows you to connect with people as you get in the habit of connecting with your true self on a daily basis.

Yoga Nidra Benefit #3 – Gives you a significant increase of clarity in your mind

As you begin your practice of Yoga Nidra what you will notice is that each time you drop in to that state of being you go deeper and deeper within yourself and begin to let go of unhealthy thoughts, emotions, and energies that are no longer serving you.

As a result of letting go of all this what you will find is that you now have a certain sense of clarity in your mind that allows you to see things in a whole new and exciting way.

Overall, when it comes to improving your life in a healthy and empowering way the practice of Yoga Nidra or any of the other empowering meditation techniques that are available to you is a great way to do so.

In fact, it truly is one of the only ways that you can communicate with the one person on this earth that truly knows who you are and that person is deep within yourself now.

Well, to achieve this one must erase/delete/eradicate that negative fear from their mind/body/energy field once and for all!

That fear gets programmed into individuals whenever they experience, early in their life, an episode of rejection and/or abandonment that then becomes stored within them as a negative memory. That memory resides within their subconscious mind and constantly generates negative thoughts about them that float up into the conscious mind hijacking and hypnotizing it into believing that the individual is unattractive, unwanted, unlovable, unworthy, inadequate, undesirable and so on.

So when such an individual attempts to form relationships they are confronted with these subliminal negative messages and are led to feel and appear insecure, less than confident, inhibited, self conscious, needy, and so on. All of this is perceived by others as unattractive with the net result that the individual is excluded, marginalized, rejected and so on. The self fulfilling prophecy strikes!

Sadly the programming is so entrenched that few ever find a way to elude its grasp. The only way to do so is to make it fully conscious and to permanently erase/delete it from within. There is now a powerful new coaching process that can help one erase the negative programming responsible for this and other fears, negative thoughts, negative memories and so on.

This coaching process is accessible either by telephone or via Skype to anyone around the world. To learn more about this process, to request a free e-copy of my book or to request a free 1 hour introductory telephone consultation that will help empower you in all areas of your life kindly visit the web site below.

It determines what we think about. What we believe is possible.

The problem with pain is that a lot of the time, it isn’t anything physical.

It’s a process that changes over time.

We stop twisting ankles, breaking bones, and getting bloody noses. Right?

We move from the playground to the battleground. From the swing-set to the headset.

Where we scar our minds instead of our knees…

It’s mental. Not muscle.

And while it looks like as a whole we are eliminating pain from our lives, nothing could be farther from the truth. We’re just better at hiding it from others.

We’re experts at appearing like “everything is alright”. In fact, we might be able to even hide it from ourselves if it weren’t for the shadows on the wall.

The problem with mental pain is that the scars run deep.

Betrayal. Loss. Abandonment.

The pain is gripping and intense. And it doesn’t go away for awhile.

It’s trauma in every imaginable sense of the word. So much so that we will do just about anything to avoid going through that experience again.

But just about the time you start to heal, just about the time the sting starts to go away, you see the shadows.

On the wall you see the scary outline of past pain. And you start to relive your fears and doubts.

Your breathe comes a little faster and your heart starts to beat a little quicker. All of your senses tell you that you are about to get hurt.

And that fear drives you to run. To stop being a high performer.

But there might be more to the situation if you look past the shadows. Maybe the shadows don’t tell the right story.

Maybe what you think is past fear and failure is really just a mechanical pencil wedged between a pizza box and the edge of the couch.

Maybe it’s nothing more than your brain playing tricks on you. Maybe the harder you look, the less you find to fear.

Maybe you look past the shadows and realize that:

Fear drives us to run while courage helps us to heal.

We all have pain. We all see the shadows.

It could be losing that big deal, working to get that next promotion, or fighting through past failures…

Just remember to look past the shadows.