Posts tagged Crowd
The Fear Of Something There Never Was
Nov 23rd
Very often people spend time worrying about the potential outcome of certain events that eventually don’t happen. It is just the human mind that keeps replaying all the disastrous consequences like a broken record. In hindsight when we look at the outcomes, in 9 times out of 10, what we feared most never happened.
But what we have lost is innumerable hours of worry, tension and stress about something that never happened. I believe as along as man has the ability to think, there will always be such events. You cannot totally rule out worry, but with time you will need to learn how to deal with it effectively.
One of the most effective techniques that I use to deal with such situations is to give it a timing perspective. Lets say that the worst imagined scenario did happen, will it matter to you one month from now, six months from now or perhaps a year from now. If you go down the other end of your time tunnel and try to look backwards in time at some stupid event that happened one year ago, you will suddenly realize how petty this is in the overall scheme of things.
At best, someone will shout at you, your manager may reprimand you, your partner will yell at you. A week later or maybe even earlier, things will soon return to normal. You will better for the experience and the situation may actually have been a blessing in disguise and may have taught you some valuable life lessons.
So the next time you are worried about something – remember to use the perspective tool and look at your problems from a distant perspective. Secondly, look for the silver lining in the crowd and hunt for the blessing in each adversity.
I keep repeating this to myself whenever I feel bruised and battered – that a diamond cannot be polished until it is cut and scraped. Each time I falter or encounter failure, I consider it as another chip off my exterior which is revealing the diamond within me. Soon you will look forward to more cuts and bruises than before, if you want the light within to shine worth brightly in the world.
Don’t be afraid of all the difficulties you encounter. Turn each stone thrown by your critics into milestones in your career path. Lastly, don’t fear something that never was. Show the light of courage to the shadows of fear and you will realize that there were no demons in the shadows.
Chaotic Grace
Nov 20th
Life is always moving, changing, and inevitably unpredictable. Within this constant flux of movements blending into the new, how does one find stability? Aren’t we all seeking the ‘Holy Grail’ of happiness? Why does it seem so illusive at times? Looking closely at the world around us we are stunned by its grandeur and mystery, and sometimes wonder how we fit into this beautiful and sometimes frightening world. As I look to the skies for clues to life’s meanings, I can’t help feeling a sense of being awestruck at our significant placement here and simultaneously getting a deflated sense of being lost in the crowd. I can relate to the ‘Who’s’ in Horton’s Who Ville, exclaiming passionately; ‘We are here, we are here’! To ‘ who’s’ ear do we speak and seek our peace? It is clear we need to find something that makes sense, something kind and orderly… something safe. Perhaps our limited view of perfection encapsulates things of a chaotic nature as well as the sweet. Just look at your kitchen right now… no matter how much cleaning is done within its square footage it is in a constant state of decline and decay. Remember when the babies were born… perfection and light. How’s the car and house lookin? How many loads of laundry are goin on at your house? Everything wonderful comes with it’s not so wonderful sidekick… Entropy. (Just look at the state of your breasts, they speak volumes- Not any more!) I have a tendency to resist such thinking… and that’s where, I conclude, I have gone wrong.
There is something to this “chaotic order’… because it IS. I’m willing to accept that, although I may not fully comprehend how this can be, this doesn’t mean I can’t accept the terms that are obviously set for us… I trust, to our benefit. It is difficult to wrap ones mind around the concepts of the universe… it is more comprehensive to wrap our hearts around the confines of our experiences. In the words of the great Mick Jaggar; ‘I can’t get no satisfaction’, knotted together with; ‘Consider the lilies of the field’, from the Tender Gardener, I approach this work of living. (And not very stealthily I might add.) There seems to be a sort of blending of conflicting notions that we need to come to terms with. Within our ‘perfect’ framework lurks the dark side of life… a side that wants to be expressed and acknowledged. Pretending it isn’t there is wanted sometimes, but most often this is not helpful. Making friends with ourselves is far more important than hiding our fears in the closet. The frightening part of life is just as valuable as the seeming light parts. Our growth, though perhaps not wanted, (Uh, no thanks… really, I’m good… can’t I just sneak past this… uh) is dependent upon the growth gained through pain.
I kinda always felt bad for Einstein who spent the last 30 years of his life trying to unify the cosmos into one simple equation… to no avail. My guess would be that he was resistant to the concepts of quantum mechanics, with all its unpredictability. He wanted the theory of everything to be friendly and purposeful at first sight… no dice throwing from God. We are now finding a symmetry in the sciences that does blend the chaotic with the stable. I often wonder if Einstein would’ve discovered the ‘string theory’, or something to that affect, himself if he would’ve let opposites collide into the balance of life. This is an observation in resistance. What if we could… resist nothing? Resisting what is creates more pain than life sets out for us, oh pain a is comin, (grin) but not to the extent we deliver it to ourselves. There is wisdom in pain, you know it and so do I. I remember my mother wishing I’d have a daughter just like me… she wanted me to know the pain she gathered from me… so I would know. I have two daughters of my own; and yes, they are a pain in the ass! (Thanks Ma!) I do adore them both, but with much love comes much pain. To feel all that is humanly possible seems to be an imperative point in life’s lessons.
There seems to be no absolute truth in the system of humanity. Not that we can see at present. We can look at our own lives and see that there is much need of grasping this darker side of life. A bit of ‘Pain Management’ is needed. We can only help those who are in the dark by knowing the darkness ourselves and overcoming it. A ‘Pollyanna’ approach to life will not serve our purposes. How do we deal with such contradictions of values and realities? There is a ‘middle road’ that is preferable to extremes of either side. There is a way to enjoy the beautiful without grasping at it lustfully-a sign of fearing its departure- and also of not pushing away the fears. This would be akin to running a muck within a black box, you’re gonna hit a wall; just sit a spell, being deliberately graceful in your reactions because you know the dawn is at hand… it always is. Life is joy and pain. The end of suffering is allowing this dichotomy to be o.k. The more we love -the more we care -the more we care- the more we open ourselves to pain… so pain must be, but undue suffering is not necessary. Suffering is taking in the natural pain of life and blowing it out of proportion to truth. The truth being: we are ‘safe’! How can I convince you of your safety? I cannot, but there is your power… undeniably. You cannot live without FAITH. Undue sorrow is the outcome of living without faith in life itself. It sort of demands it from us, don’t you think?
Death and decay happen… yeah, it does, we don’t like it, but there it is. Let’s find our way around our fears and get our graceful thinking and acting up on this damned stage! I am in a position to know that we do not know anything about what will become of us… it is all unknown. We are only imbued with the temporary knowledge of our time, which is fleeting and must make its mark upon those we leave behind. The question remains… can we accept the truth of where we are in the cosmos, betwixt order and chaos? Graceful allowing of this truth is our only way to confront our darkness. Our power is in choosing how to act during these times of unavoidable dichotomy. We can choose how to walk through darkness and light gracefully. This is a requirement of yielding rather than resistance. It is a waltz with life rather than the tango of power. Surrender is the practice chaos brings. Remember that resignation is not surrender! Surrender is allowing, not a toleration. Being with your life without judgment as to its right or wrongness is a tricky balance to find. But you can do this with the pouring out of more love, kindness, and letting go of controlling life. (Hello and… Welcome to the Dark Side… enjoy your stay!)
“Surrender is the simple but profound wisdom of yielding to rather than opposing the flow of life.” -Eckhart Tolle
