Posts tagged Contrary
Is Your Self-Confidence Really As Low As You Think?
Oct 9th
If you ask any coach what is the one issue their clients have in common, it would be a lack of self-esteem and confidence. Sometimes it is obvious, other times people train themselves to hide it well but at some level almost everyone experiences the self-doubt which can be so de-motivating.
If you are one of those people, read further, things might not be as bad as they seem.
Lately, I have discovered something interesting. When working with a client who suffers from low self-confidence, we don’t primarily focus on building the confidence. Rather, we look at other areas of the clients’ life and look for proof of their strengths and achievements. These reminders then serve as “building blocks” towards the evolution of their self-esteem.
And here comes the interesting part: When I listen to what my clients are capable of, what they have been through, how they have reacted under some very stressful circumstances, I am often left wondering. How is it possible that this person still believes he/she is lacking self-confidence?
One of my clients boldly asked for a pay rise. Another initiated a dramatic career change without having any guarantees of future success or even income. Another one divorced her husband and boldly embarked on a single life with three little children. Yet, all of those clients claimed lack of self-confidence as their main problem!
Do you wonder why? The way I see it is the following. We are all surrounded by individuals who are loud, assertive, bold and overall come across as “bouncing heaps” of self-confidence. When comparing themselves with these individuals, those who are quieter, calmer and more reflective types feel that their self-confidence is missing.
What many people don’t understand is that self-confidence comes in many forms and shapes. Often people who are the loudest are missing it the most! On the contrary, those who make their decisions, stick to them and carry them through are those who display more self-confidence and strength.
Now you go ahead and make your honest assessment. Is your self-confidence really as low as you thought?
Natalie Ekberg is an international personal and executive coach and offers self-improving, motivational and coaching e-courses and e-books as well as face to face or telephone coaching.

