Posts tagged Compliments
Building Confidence And Self Esteem
Oct 15th
To lead successful and happy life, self-confidence is one of the key elements. It will improve your social interaction and chances in climbing the stepladder of success and also will be a useful dosage of self-confidence and improves your business interactions.
People who have confidence are attractive and gorgeous because it peaks other people’s interest in them. If you think that you are not worthy of being noted or befriended, then others would assume there is a good reason for this and they avoid you or not give you a second thought. It is very essential for your personality that others should know you better than yourself; this only can happen by yourself.
It is the middle ground between low self-confidence and overconfidence. A person who has self confidence will do what he believes in even with opposition, wills take risks and cross the extra miles, admitting mistakes and learning from them, and accept compliments graciously-realizing that what he did was excellent, and not downplaying his role in the matter. But on the other hand, a person with low self-confidence will pattern his thoughts and actions to those around him, stays safe in his comfort zone or commend upon his virtues without waiting to be recognized in an attempt to remind himself of his importance. Further, an overconfident person will over-reach and exceed his limits, often falling short of his goal, and enthusiastically linger on his role in a successful situation.
To balance these three situations can be difficult, but the rewards are very satisfactory.
Comparatively, self confidence is often a more important asset than skill, knowledge, or even experience. It seems like a piece of a puzzle needed to make the entire puzzle complete. Let us take a closer look. We imagine that you have the skill, knowledge, and experience to qualify for a certain job. But when you go for the job interview, what will happen if you are not able to give answers that you know very well. It is the scarcity of confidence.
Flattery Is A Fine Art
Oct 2nd
Once, a student in an elementary school was about to fail a teacher’s subject, who was famous for his dislike for flattery. The student thought to provoke the teacher for giving him good marks, or at least passing him, and had a bright idea. One day after the school, the student accompanied the sincere teacher and said that he wanted to know his comments about flattery. The teacher proudly presented his opinion about flattery and gave a long speech about the evils that flattery brings. After the teacher stopped, the student said that he like him because of his very quality that he disliked flattery unlike all other teachers. The teacher smiled proudly and quickly asked the student’s examination particulars. The boy passed the subject proving that where intelligence fails flattery works, instead of philosophy, or where flattery fails, flattery works.
Flattery is the art of excessive praising and compliments of a person for gaining advantages. It is considered to be a negative ability rather skill and usually flattery is said to be the synonym of insincerity. But not all can flatter, and so good to get some benefits without being doubted. This skill is an art, in which, a very few have mastery, as those who we identify as flatterers are not at all experts of this field for they are exposed and known to all.
It is a fine art, because its one of those things which are admired for their beauty and have no practical use. To a person who is being flattered, flattery is a beautiful thing, which leads him to live in the paradise of fools, which endows him what he has not at all. It makes him unable to find the artificiality and deceit of the flatterer and at that time the flatterer seems to be the loveliest person for him. Flattery to him is just like an illusion, which is just a fallacy and can do no good to him. It is just like a mirage, which does not exist but makes the thirsty wanderer of desert pleased for a while. He doesn’t get anything, but the toady does get profit and advantage from the delighted flattered. In nutshell, Flattery thrives at the lap of conceit.
A true master of flattery never uses it as it is, and never asks himself for the profit he seeks, never expresses and reveals his true self. He has to clothe his skill so beautifully that the thrilled flattered may never get what has been done to him. A toady when achieves something without moving a muscle, whereas others get the same with lot of hard work, struggle and effort, he quits the proper way of progress and always uses this shortcut. This is again a negative of flattery from which even the flatterer is not safe from. A toady, in trap of flattery, remains useless for he can never get successful in life.
Of those, who master this art, most are women. The natural appeal for praise and compliment in women generates in them the sense of false praising and exaggerated complimenting. Women, in general, like to get flattered. Socrates says that orators of flattery impress women the most. They prefer and enjoy the flattery of their gender-mates because of the rivalry and competition. Women not only are flatterers but are fonder of being flattered. Even in cases they know that the praise and compliment is exaggerated but they never refuse to accept the compliment. They, in fact, to get flattered, provoke others for example by saying, ‘Ah, I am sure this dress is not looking good on me,’ and then there would be a long list of compliments and praising by people for her and she’ll feel it knowing that she is being flattered.
The history of flattery is not new, for ages this is being used and has benefited millions. Of most importance are the sycophants which we see in different ages. We therefore have a long list of sycophants at work in different regimes, of different ruling dynasties of world. In the time of Roman Empire, the corrupt and flunky Senators of Rome ruined many Emperors. At last, the destruction and fall of Rome, the Western Roman Empire, was mostly because of these senators. In England, the courtiers and even courteous writers, poets and authors used flattery as a standard form of discourse when addressing the King or Queen. In India, the great Mughul Emperors all were flattered by their sycophantic courtiers with the titles like zill-e-Ilahi (shadow of God), Jahan-Panah (Shelter for the world) etc. Due to the notoriety of these sycophants, Machiavelli dedicates a whole chapter in his book, The Prince, on how a ruler must avoid the flatterers.
A selfless flattery can be used in order to help the people in different ways, for example to help under-confident people to get confidence. An artist, who is at a fork, confused, about his piece of art, and its quality and acceptance, can be put to confidence by using a little flattery and ignoring the mistakes in the work. This will not harm anyone but will certainly help the artist in getting confident and in continuing his art. A child needs encouragement whenever he does something constructive and the elders use a little doze of flattery to encourage the child.
In short, in whatever way flattery is being used, it can never be beneficial, though it does bring some benefits, but they are never long lasting, concrete and reliable. The advantages are much petite if compared to the immense negatives it brings. Flattery is just like a tranquilizer, like a narcotic, and those who are fond and addict of it can not feel comfortable without it. The men at the fence of affairs and even the common people get affected of it. Flattery is indeed a fine art that only is beautiful to ears but has no practical use and is harmful in multiple ways.
