Posts tagged Circumstances

I recently watched an older movie about a boy in Canada who left college in order to follow his heart and become a fisherman. While I don’t remember the name of the move, I do remember one line that really struck me at the time. It was spoken by an older fisherman, many years his senior, who was telling the boy how he (the boy) had changed him and that he now wanted to respect the life he’d been given. I really loved that idea and started thinking about how exactly one would go about respecting the life they’ve been given. Here are some of the factors I think would guarantee that end for us.

1. Get that life CAN be the way you want.
This may be the most critical suggestion of all in relation to respecting your life. If you can’t be open to the fact that the life you want IS possible, then I can guarantee you are not being your best self or living your best life, which to me is the same as respecting the life, talents and skills you have been given. All I ask at this point is that you be open to the idea that a different, fuller life is possible.

2. Get that you actually do have control over your life.
For the most part, we start life by being taken care of (read controlled) by our parents, mostly to keep us safe. This is an excellent thing when we are young and don’t have the wherewithal to take care of ourselves. At some point in our teens, we get to make a choice. We can choose to remain in the control of others (school, government, circumstances, etc.) living as victims or we begin to assume control over our own life. That’s the important point here — it’s a choice we get to make.

3. Make a choice to get to know yourself intimately.
In order to respect the life you’ve been given, it only makes sense that we utilize all the talents and skills we have been given. Obviously, we need to identify those skills and talents and practice them until we master them. Before that, we need to be aware that we DO have talents and skills. Each and every one has things we do especially well. We usually know what they are because we love doing things that are related to those skills. It could be cooking or singing or golfing or mathematics or any thing you can think of. In addition to our skills and talents, it’s important to know what we hold important, what our values, standards and boundaries are. What would we be willing to fight for or go to jail for? Knowing these things helps us make the choices that are *in* integrity for us and shows a great respect for the life we’ve been given.

4. Be willing to acknowledge that you have strengths as well as weaknesses.
Knowing who we are involves knowing, and acknowledging, all our strengths and weaknesses. Lots of us find it easy to identify and acknowledge our weaknesses, but have difficulty getting our heads around the fact that we also have strengths. No one is all bad or all weak, yet there are many reasons why we find it simpler to focus on our weaknesses. For example, it is easier to stay a victim if we can’t see our strengths; or we may be surrounded by people who constantly remind us of our weaker points. No matter, it’s our prerogative to have strengths and weaknesses and to work on enhancing our strengths and improving our weaknesses.

5. Be willing to acknowledge that you have weaknesses as well as strengths.
Because we are all different, while some people have problems seeing their strengths, others are afraid to acknowledge that they have any weaknesses whatsoever. Unfortunately, no one currently living has absolutely no weaknesses. When we can’t accept our weaknesses, we also have trouble accepting or tolerating the weaknesses of others. This makes it hard to maintain friendships over the years and often results in lonely individuals. Everyone has areas of their life that could use improvement. Embrace it now and keep yourself human!

6. Get that it’s never too late to change.
A myth that has been perpetuated down through the years is that you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. I disagree with that maxim very strongly. There’s no reason to assume that you can’t live to be 100 and be capable of change at any point in that journey — even after 99 years and 364 days. We are ALWAYS capable of change. All we need to do is accept that change is possible, no matter how old we are or how entrenched we feel in our current behavior.

7. Open yourself to making the committment to work on yourself.
A key ingredient in respecting yourself fully is to make a conscious commitment to becoming your best self and then taking action that proves you are committed to that goal. It’s easy enough to check as well. All you need to do is to consciously look at what you’re doing and ask “Does this prove my commitment to becoming my best self or not?” A truthful answer will keep you in the right direction.

8. Get that if you focus on becoming your best self, best life will surely follow.
There is a distinction that I like to make between being, doing and having. When you are the person you want to be, living “in” integrity with your core values, then doing what you want to do and having what you want to have just follows naturally. Keep your focus on becoming your best self and allow the good things to come to you.

9. Get that God (the Universe, Higher Self, Buddha, etc.) really wants the best for you.
As I begin working with new people, one of the basic ideas that we cover in the early days is how important it is to connect to the spiritual self. The higher wisdom that guides us (albeit unconsciously) always in the right direction provides us with a stable foundation for change. As all change is a result of solid steps, each one believed 100%, a key step is understanding that God (or the Universe, Higher Self, Buddha, Guru, whatever form your spirituality takes) wants the best for you. Once you believe this 100%, it is easy to move to the next step that it’s okay for YOU want the best for you.

10. Respecting your life means living life to its (and your!) fullest potential.
In some ways, this is a summary of everything else I’ve been saying. Make the most of your life; stretch and grow in every direction you want and in every area of your life. It is all possible. After all, life is a gift that deserves respect!