Posts tagged Circumstances
Build Your Self-Esteem Through Self-Awareness
Oct 12th
If you want to work your way towards gaining a healthy amount of self-esteem, start building self-awareness. Self-awareness means having the courage to come to terms with every single aspect of your self – physical, intellectual, emotional, social, and spiritual – including both your strengths and weaknesses in each area.
If you’re unhappy with yourself for any reason, deal with what’s troubling you immediately before it can cause permanent damage to your self-esteem. The only things that we can change about ourselves are those that we are willing to acknowledge. When we deny that someone, or something, is robbing us of our self-esteem, we become passive and refuse to take action.
The first thing to do is to ask yourself, “What triggered my low self-esteem?” Was it an unkind remark, a poor body image, rejection, a major setback in your life, etc.? Try to be as honest as possible and pinpoint the exact cause.
The next step would be to find solutions to eradicate the cause. I don’t suggest that you start plotting revenge to every person who’s been mean to you. And certainly, you can’t turn back the hands of time and wish that you’ve done something different. The feasible way has more to do with your thinking. Change the way you think about the people or things or situations that gave you low self-esteem.
It’s a normal reaction to retreat further into your shell if you’ve been hurt or rejected in the past. But how long are you going to allow people or circumstances to keep you from achieving your fullest potential and live a satisfying life?
Redeem the hours you’ve spent feeling sorry for yourself. Get a new perspective about life. Immerse yourself in books, music, and movies that inspire you. Cut out anything in your life that makes you feel bad about yourself.
Another way to build self-awareness is to watch the way you talk to yourself. Do you tend to put yourself down whenever you make a mistake? If so, stop. Treat yourself kindly and say, “Next time, I resolve to do better.”
Learn to validate yourself. Sure, you may have weaknesses, but you have capabilities, too. One of the best ways to build your self-esteem is to identify those areas where you’re good at and capitalize on them.
Also, be aware that from this point you and you alone are responsible for your self-esteem. So like yourself. Like yourself enough that even when you’re not in the company of others, you can be at peace.
Now that you know yourself better, get a clearer idea of what you want most out of life. With a higher level of self-esteem, you can afford to risk more, achieve more, and reach out more to people.
9 Ways to Boost Your Self Esteem!
Oct 11th
Feeling good about who we are is very important. Faith in your own abilities is very necessary so that you don’t ask everybody for the approval. If you feel good about yourself then you will always be confident. Attaching one’s own happiness with the outside world will create more emptiness. I know people who spend lot of time in “malls”, “multiplexes” and buy things which are “not important but luxurious”. Getting lost in the outer world just to get the emotional boost will not work permanently.
Self esteem and self image are closely connected. How you see yourself in your mind’s eye will affect how you feel about yourself. Workings on your outer image will surly boost your self esteem but it will be temporary again. You will have to work from the inside out. First change from within and then work on your image.
I have already shown you the signs of low self esteem in the previous article. Following are the steps to boost your self esteem and change your life from within-
1- Accept yourself, i.e. your behavior, your nature, your failures etc. We all have something in us that we don’t like and we react when we see the same in others. By accepting these traits in us we become less judgmental of others. Love your flaws/mistakes and forgive yourself for loosing so much in life.
2- Stop being negative. Observe your negative self talk. Know the way you talk and what meaning you give to the circumstances around you. The moment you start with a negative statement or a comment in your mind or otherwise just stop then and there. Negative thinking causes negative emotions, negative feelings and depression, as a result your self esteem gets affected and you feel inferior. Some people call themselves “Unlucky” and hate their own existence. If you are one of them then you should know that you yourself are responsible to change your life.
3- Change your attitude from negative to positive. This needs positive thinking all the time. Always find the good meaning of any circumstances. Learn to change the perception. Be centered and always find something to learn from the negative people or the circumstances. If you are judgmental and always find the negative in others then your attitude is the problem not them.
4- Take care of your mind, body and soul. Negligence in any area will affect you negatively. Closely observe what goes on in your mind. Exercise for the body and meditate for the mind and soul. Meditation changes your thought pattern; as a result the frequency of the re-occurring negative thoughts reduces. Find time for yourself to get connected with your inner self.
5- Be confident. When you start working on these steps you will automatically feel confident about yourself. You will smile often and take things lightly. You will love your achievements and always be genuinely happy with who ever you come in contact with.
6- If you are a too much giving type then learn to take care of yourself. Neglecting your own soul will harm you more in long term. Give yourself a treat or a gift. Be gentle with yourself. Women mostly have low self esteem. They love others but themselves. They have no time for themselves but for everybody. Take care of your health and appearance. Unless you are good with yourself you can’t take care of others so be good with yourself.
7- If you are a bully type then try to find out what you are hiding from yourself and others. If you are arrogant or bully just to prove that you are confident and powerful then you are at fault. It means you have a low self esteem and you are hiding your weakness from the world. Don’t work against yourself by being difficult.
8- Say “No” to the negative labels or criticism given by other people. Just believe in yourself. If you accept the labels given by others then you will be lost and harm yourself more.
9- Finally always be happy and bring difference to someone’s life by helping them. When we bring happiness in someone’s life then our own life becomes more meaningful.
Healthy self esteem means you love yourself. Loving yourself does not mean indulging or hurting others by being selfish. It means accepting yourself with all the flaws and the plus points in you. Spiritually, loving yourself means protecting yourself from all the negative stuff in life. This means not to become negative or depressed. Not to feel rejected, angry or resentful. Not to compare or judge… and so on.
You need to work on yourself step by step. You won’t see the changes instantly but if you are persistent enough to bring out the change in you then very soon you will see the difference in your attitude. You will consciously change the way you see yourself and others. You just can’t work for few days and continue to become negative it is a constant work of a life time.
I wish you all the best.
Vandana
