Posts tagged Circumstances
Become a Good Finder
Jan 3rd
Do you really want to improve the quality of your life?
Then become a Good Finder – this means, you actively look for the good in people, and in situations.
Children have the capability to see the good in everything. They hardly recognize people’s faults, or see the negative side of any given situation.
But when children grow up and become adults like us, they tend to lose this childlike quality of innocence. They begin to see people, situations, and life from a different perspective.
All is not lost, your can regain your childlike innocence. You can re program your mind to only see the good in people and things. This will improve your relationships, as well as your emotional, mental, physical and spiritual well-being. Saying that it would drastically improve the overall quality of your life, is an understatement.
You will become more likable, because you now admire people’s unique qualities, and tend not criticize them. You will come from a perspective of understanding them, you now approve of them, and affirm them.
This alone will open up may doors of opportunity for you. Is it any surprise why people will want to spend more time with you?
People and life give you what you expect of them. Expect to see the best in people, and you will get the best out of them. Expect the best out of your circumstances, and you will experience the best life has to offer.
Dwell on the good, and you’d get the good. Dwell on the bad, and you may end up with an avalanche of trouble. (Don’t say I didn’t warn you).
Improve the quality of your life, and the lives of those around you. Look for the good, and add some Sunshine to your life.
What to Do When You’ve Made a Life-Shatteringly Bad Decision
Nov 14th
The type of thing I’m talking about can vary, but an example from my own life was my decision to take up smoking when I was 16. I knew it was probably a bad idea at the time, but sometimes bad ideas can have a fascinating seductivity to them that makes them impossible to resist. I struggled with cigarettes for seven years after that before finally giving them away for good.
Other examples of life-shattering decisions include adultery, recreational drug use, crime, debt, and pointless arguments with friends and family. There comes a moment in everybody’s life when they do something so stupid that they will be dealing with the consequences for years afterwards. Sometimes, the choice can be made in an instant, sometimes over a few months. But always, it turns out to be damaging and wrong.
What should you do after you’ve done such a thing in your own life?
The first thing to do, when you come out of the initial shock, is admit that what you’ve done was stupid and wrong. Many people live in misery and destruction because of their simple inability to admit to themselves that they might have done something wrong. Instead, they try to rationalize it away – “I enjoy taking cocaine”, “I was falling out of love with my spouse anyway”, “who cares about money?”.
Once you’ve admitted to yourself that you’ve made a mistake, the next thing is to assess if it’s possible to return to the circumstances before the decision was made. In the case of drug addiction, it feasible that you can free yourself from it and end up in much the same state as before. In the case of infidelity, you must accept that your marriage will never be the same again, no matter how hard you try.
If you’re able to return to your previous, more pure state of life, then you must immediately start working out a concrete, achievable plan for doing so. Don’t be unrealistic, and realize that it’s going to be difficult to return to first base, but find a determination to do so. Some of the motivation articles on Paul’s Tips can help you do that.
In the case where you are unable to return to your previous state, consider what would be the next best thing. If you’ve committed infidelity and ruined a marriage you love, is it possible you can rebuild it to some kind of still functional state? If you’ve been caught committing a serious crime, is it possible you can rebuild some kind of decent life after the jail term has finished?
Once again, the trick is to make some kind of concrete, achievable plan. Write it down if necessary. Acknowledge that it’s going to be extremely difficult, but combine that with a determination to see it through.
So there are the two steps: firstly admit your error, then take steps to repair it. The life-shatteringly bad decisions we all make from time to time will have a devastating effect. Learn how to recover from them gracefully.
