Posts tagged Circles
Taking a “Processing” Break
Sep 3rd
Processing can become a habit of the mind that drains our energy. It takes us away from the present moment where our creative selves live. Our happiness suffers as well as our peace of mind when we get caught up in the stories (assumptions) that we make up about life, ourselves, and others. When we are processing, we are focussed less on what’s real and more on what is an illusion.
It’s the same for all of us.
As human processors, we often have a favourite road that we take which is usually fueled by anxiety. For instance, after years of exploring personal growth both individually and in groups, I had learned to be an expert at analysis.
It has been a wonderful lesson for me to let go of trying to figure out the dynamics of a relationship or why I am emotionally triggered. When I processed and processed and processed, I realized that I often was in someone else’s business instead of my own. I was ‘over there’, wishing things were different and figuring out why ‘they’ behaved as they did. There was little accountability as I often found excuses for my own behaviour. My mind went in circles, and I was not connected to my heart nor the feelings that showed up physiologically in my body. I used a lot of words and distanced those to whom I really wanted to be close.
When I practice what I have learned about handling a tendency to want to stay in my head and process, there is a significant difference in my relationship with myself and others. The calmness that envelopes me is reflected back to me. I get to see that nothing is really as important as it seems to my mind. In the present moment, I feel a trust that life will take care of itself. I focus on what is right about my life instead of fixing what my mind perceives as wrong. When I accept feelings that come and go, I am tender with myself and, therefore, with others. I deeply know that they are simply feelings to be experienced as a human being on this planet. They are not my identity nor are they the identity of those around me.
When you notice yourself processing, the following are effective ways to support a different choice:
Take a time-out (a silent pause or break). For those of you who have the tendency to want to process out loud, stay with your inner experience. The timing isn’t right for you to use words when you are in the midst of turmoil. Simply be with what’s happening at a body-sensate level. Feelings have a physiological component as well as their own frequency. Even if you can’t label the feeling, simply noticing the intensity of the frequency and where it is present in your body is very beneficial. Welcoming the feeling without judging it as negative or positive opens the door for it to be felt fully – without ‘trying’ to get rid of it. The result is freedom. Practice mindful breathing – following each inhale and exhale of your breath so that you naturally breathe into your belly. Notice your surroundings and get in touch with your senses to keep bringing you back to the present moment. Connecting with nature is particularly helpful. If your thoughts are very active, write them down so that you can see them. Then ask yourself – is this true? Would everyone on this planet agree with me? If not, it is simply an opinion – a story made up by the mind. Write a letter to yourself during a time of being clear and grounded in your wise self. Address your over-and-over tendencies in this letter, adding loving, wise words that touch your heart. Save it in a special place to be read when the processing habit feels painful. This measure of being a true friend to yourself will help quiet your mind. Remind yourself that whatever is happening is perfect. All will unfold. You will know what to do – step by step. Embracing all of your experiences will lead you to a place of stillness. Feelings, thoughts, body sensations – all come and go. It is our core, Infinity itself, that endures, nourishes us, and provides us with the freedom to be who we are…really.
People Are Just Not Miserable Enough
Aug 26th
The meditative person is not an escapist; he is creative. That is the criterion of real meditation: if it helps you to be creative only then is it true meditation; otherwise you are carrying something pseudo in the name of meditation. – Osho
This is certainly not the case with the young women in Australia aged between 18-34 years. This age bracket is the one where there is the highest incidence of suicide and I believe where suicide is responsible for more deaths than anything else.
Unfortunately for these women there was no-one around to tell them about meditation and not only that the women themselves did not move in circles where meditation was even talked about let alone practised.
The only hope to pull people out of the anguish of their own minds is meditation and a meditative approach to life; all else is just hopeless. You can have plenty of money, a great career, fantastic relationships and everything that most people would like but do not have, however ultimately we will find that everything has betrayed us. But then it will be too late.
When Alexander the Great was dying he asked his courtiers to make sure both his hands were outside the coffin so that everybody could see he was going to the other shore empty handed.
Generally, people will die as they lived and if they have lived a false life they will die in misery, as they realise they had wasted their life in complaining about people, life and circumstances over which they never had any control. How could they? Control is an illusion.
Someone who is fortunate enough to have had a taste of meditation knows there is another way to live life and this person lives with gratefulness and particularly a sense of humour especially about oneself.
Once this sense of humour becomes established we start laughing at ourselves not others and we certainly never complain about anyone or anything. If we feel some social orders need change we will do that too with sincerity and totality.
When Buddha was dying his disciples were weeping and crying and he said to them, “Stop. Whatever was worth knowing I have known and I have realized my potential. You should rejoice because I have fulfilled my mission in life.”
If we truly are miserable and honestly think there is no way out then think again. There is always someone who has travelled a few steps ahead of you who can suggest appropriate meditations. But existentially, “thinking” itself is the problem and more precisely the identification we all have with the thinking mind that dominates our life.
Cheers
Sam
