quality lifestyle blog » Boss

Bless the Obstacles and Keep Moving

Charles — Thu, 11 Nov 2010 15:16:27 +0000

In the beginning of any venture, there seems to be giant obstacles along the path. You will feel the most challenged and encounter the steepest climb while you are still unsure of your power and understanding of the task at hand.

Beginning a venture means to bring about change or create something, which is a new experience. In the physical world change occurs only when obstacles or status quo is moved from its place. When you pretend you are not responsible for what you are creating in your life you are choosing to accept what you do not want. The first step in creating is to accept responsibility for what is and what you desire. It is not your parents’, the boss’s, or God’s responsibility. You are driving your own bus and you are the one who is in control of your life.

This is a period of undoing old thinking. It is an opportunity for you to prepare for pop quizzes in your daily life. You have the opportunity to decide if you will be non-resistant or if you will revert to the old pattern gravitational pull of the past.

These are the moments you need to be wise and work through the obstacles instead of being resistant or quitting – giving up. Bless the obstacles and keep moving toward that which you desire. Over time your course becomes more direct and easier to navigate. With perseverance and practice you will recognize an obstacle before it comes into full force and you will master how to maneuver around, over, through, under it.

As you progress into your full empowerment, you will notice obstacles will become stepping stones to your grandest desires.

Mind Control Methods – 3 Simple Techniques To Get What You Want

Charles — Wed, 10 Nov 2010 13:29:27 +0000

There are many mind control methods out there that you can use for your own personal gain and advancement. However, most of them are a little too tricky or even creepy for any regular person to attempt. I know this because I’ve looked; and well, I don’t always like what I see.

What we need are mind control techniques that are safe and simple to use. Read on to learn more.

Mind Control Method # 1: Keep Them Comfortable.

The first thing you must remember is to keep the person you’re talking to at ease. Don’t jump right into what you plan for him to do. Start with stating simple facts like “You’re sitting there right in front of me comfortable and at ease.”

It may be a plain observation, but it is in alignment with what the person knows and believes. Continue feeding him facts like this for a short while, until you feel that he is well and truly put in an agreeing mood. This technique will then prepare him for what is to come.

Mind Control Method # 2: Use The Word “Because.”

How often do we use the word “because” in a real sentence? In my opinion, we don’t use it often enough. Sure, we use it when writing letters, but do you have any idea how powerful this word is when used verbally in actual sentence?

When you’re trying to reason out the need for a second chance to your boss, for example, you don’t say “I deserve a second chance for all my hard work.” Instead, you say, “I deserve a second chance because I worked really hard on this project.”

That word alone gives you an air of maturity and credibility that will always work to your advantage.

Mind Control Method # 3: Use Tag Questions.

I hope you still remember your grammar lessons, because one particular topic is actually one of the simplest yet most effective mind control techniques out there – tag questions.

Tag questions are questions that end with another mini question. Examples include: You’re not going to let these poor children starve, are you? They will return for us, won’t they?

See what I mean? When trying to get someone to do what you want, make sure to phrase your requests in the form of tag questions because it puts them in just the right position to say “yes.”

Mind control methods are only as effective as the person using them. Don’t expect these techniques to work perfectly, especially if you don’t have a lot of self-confidence. Practice them as much as you can and you’ll see yourself improving every step of the way.

The Truth About Self-Help Books

Charles — Mon, 01 Nov 2010 06:06:27 +0000

They sell in their millions, but do they really help us or are just means to make money from people in need? They are filled with powerful quotes and advice, but a week later we’ve forgotten every word.

Today we are facing an epidemic of emotional problems, depression, violence and eating disorders. We are desperate for quick fix and the “self help” market is booming.

But does it help us? Is it possible to transform a person just by reading a book? Maybe it can happen with the books aimed at specific problems and showing us step-by-step approach to change the way we deal with those problems.

Positive affirmations may help certain people with high self esteem, but not others who need help most. Researchers have discovered that unbelievable positive affirmations actually strengthens negative view of people with low self esteem.

If you know deep down that there is more live for, to achieve, to experience, then self-help books can help you get into action. 90% of the readers don’t even finish the book, almost 10% read it and make a plan but fail to apply it, and only few percents of them actually take ACTION.

To overcome problems we must accept responsibility of our actions. That’s impossible, daunting thought for over 90% of people. Blame the boss, government, spouse, it is easier, everybody is doing it. If we accept that we are in control of our lives, then comes the scary part – taking ACTION.

“If you believe you can or you can’t, you are right.” Henry Ford

How Not to Let People Take Too Much of Your Time

Charles — Thu, 30 Sep 2010 03:32:04 +0000

However organized a person you may be and however much you may care about keeping up with your “to do list”, there are some people who can take too much of your time and prevent you from staying on schedule. Preventing others for consuming more of your time than you actually have is the best defense.

When it comes to clients, let the voice mail or your assistant take the messages for you while you can still get away with it. When it comes to supervisors, spend time where you can work hard but not be easily reached and leave a note on the office door saying that you are in the library, taking care of errands or experimenting in the lab. Work is a good excuse even when it comes to bosses. If the boss is actually you and your employees keep you busy with unimportant matters, you can always ask them how their work is going to make them want to shorten the discussion.

When coworkers spend too much time chatting with you, you will both be seen as idle and distracted. It is best to shorten the talks for both your ability to stay focused as well as for your reputation at the job. Here are some good lines to use with them: “I would really like to talk but it’s not the right time, I’m sorry”, “I have to finish this, I’ll meet you at lunch time in the break room”, “Could this please wait? I have to send this by 2 o’clock and I’m still working on it”.

Where family and friends are concerned, you may be disappointed with yourself for thinking that they are stealing away your time. If staying focused at work is important to you, then just offer them as much of your free time as you can so that they don’t need you in your working hours. In this way you won’t be feeling bad about saying no to them from time to time either, because you actually give them attention whenever you can.

When it comes to new acquaintances whom you know you cannot get closer too, try and let them understand from starters that you are a busy person and that exchanging regular visits is not something that can fit into your schedule. Not being prompt when returning phone calls and not telling them things that are personal to you will maintain your relationship at the level of just being acquaintances. This attitude is fairer than it is to make friends with someone new and drop him or her when you see that you cannot keep up.

Time Management Tips For Busy Professionals

Charles — Thu, 23 Sep 2010 11:53:04 +0000

With the advent of cell phones and PDAs, our lives are now filled with devices intended to make communication easier. Ironically, though, many of us have let these gadgets, combined with poor time management skills, ruin what would otherwise be a productive workday.

It doesn’t have to be this way, though. Here are some tips that you can use immediately to help you become more organized…and consequently, less stressed out.

- Schedule your workday the night before. This suggestion may be the least difficult to implement, but it will provide the quickest return on your investment. Take 10 minutes during the night to review what your following day’s schedule looks like. This review typically sets your mind at ease about what is coming up and often reminds you of a task that you wanted to do in order to prepare for something on your schedule.

Also, write down your most important objectives for the following day. A “To-do” list only helps if you prioritize your time and activities. Unfortunately, people rarely rank what is most important on the list. Try coloring the revenue-generating ideas in green and the non-revenue producing items in red. When you arrive into work the next day, you are then ready to begin working on what is most relevant, instead of thinking about what you to need to work on.

- Use selling hours wisely. Most businesses in your area are likely open between the hours of 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. Given that, try not to fill up that time with non-selling activities. Plan your weekly internal meetings at 7:30 or 8 a.m. If you aren’t the boss, ask yours to make the change based on your self-interest in having as many selling hours as possible available to you. Odds are you’ll find him pleasantly surprised by your request.

Another tip: If you travel in the car a lot, plan phone appointments at that time instead of while in the office. If you move one 15-minute phone call from your office line to your cell phone daily, you just opened up over one hour of extra time per workweek.

- Make clear distinctions between work and personal discussions. Yes, you love your family and friends, but 99% of their communication just isn’t urgent. Accordingly, do not answer personal telephone calls during the day. And make sure all personal e-mails go to your personal account-never your work one. In fact, you’re best off not giving out your business e-mail account to friends or family.

Also, turn off the text function on your cell phone and close your instant messaging client. Have you ever added up how many minutes (hours?) you waste answering people’s meaningless messages to you? Business and personal communication need to be separated-period. Don’t worry, your friends and family will quickly get the message and stop bugging you during the workday.

- Change your e-mail patterns. Switch your e-mail settings so new messages arrive in your inbox every 10 minutes. This way, there is less of a chance you will be interrupted while finishing another e-mail, on the phone or completing another item off of your “to-do” list. It isn’t necessary to drop everything to immediately read and respond to every e-mail that comes into your inbox. E-mail is not intended for instant communication. But the more you respond instantly, the more often people expect you to do so.

When several important projects are piled up on your desk, simply close out your e-mail account altogether. It’s okay to respond at a more convenient time. In fact, it makes more sense to respond later in the day when you aren’t distracted with other things on your mind. The same is true for answering the phone. Feel free to let a few messages accumulate. You can easily call them back later that day or the next morning. As long as business calls are returned with 24 hours, there’s no problem.

- Be selfish with your time. This is the hardest one for salespeople to get comfortable with, but it’s perfectly alright to tell people you cannot do something right then. When someone requests some information right now, politely explain that you are in the middle of something else and ask them what times would be good to meet with them.

These tips will help you organize and prioritize your time better. They may even help you earn more money and reduce your stress level. By controlling your activities, you will no doubt experience a much greater sense of fulfillment.

It’s Time You Said No

Charles — Tue, 21 Sep 2010 11:57:04 +0000

You know the circumstance I’m talking about, where you just want to say no and carry on with your day, but you just don’t know how to do it. One of the many distractions that can greet you during your busy day is that phone call from a supervisor or colleague asking for help. Of course they want to add a task to your already jammed schedule. What they fail to find out first is what you already have on your plate.

Well, it’s time you said no. And I mean say it strong and say it loud, because saying no could be one of the most important keys to staying on target with your schedule. And while it may seem impossible to spit out the exact words “no”, here are a few alternatives to get you through your day.

Next time your boss or manager comes to you and asks you to do something you hadn’t planned for, and you’re having a hard time saying no, offer to show them the list of priorities you have set for the day instead. At that point, make sure to ask them which task they would like remove from the list and replace with the task they are about to give you.

When a colleague from another office/department approaches you and you just can’t stomach to spit out the words “no”, try saying “I’m sorry I can’t get to it right at the moment because I’m in the middle of something. But what’s your deadline?” At this point, you’ll finally put the situation into control of when it works best for your schedule.

It’s very important to make sure their demand should be priority. How many times have you went ahead and dropped what you were doing, interrupting your train of thought and focus and steered away from your deadlines to fulfill the needs of another person in the office? You start making calls, going on the internet, doing research for them and later find out that the person didn’t really need the information for a few days. Now you’re frustrated and you have a tight deadline of your own to make.

If the situation doesn’t seem sudden, don’t let them store their issues as critical on your to-do list. The bottom line is, you won’t know unless you ask and it goes a long way to managing your day if you can do it appropriately. You need to protect your time.

From now on, you need to set goals, get organized, prioritize your day and set your schedule. When someone approaches you with an interruption, communicate with them. Unless you know what their intentions are and sometimes you stand up and say no, you may never get to things on your list before tomorrow comes.

How to Prioritize in Order to Increase Productivity

Charles — Fri, 17 Sep 2010 13:01:04 +0000

Before you start the process of prioritizing you should ask yourself a few questions to establish a baseline at which to begin. This will improve time management and make you a more productive worker.

Why were you hired for this job? Are you accomplishing things that your boss set out for you to do? Have a talk with your boss to make sure you are on track.
What is it that you do that adds the highest value to your job? If you are not sure, ask your co-workers.
What are the best results you have achieved on any project you have worked on at work? Think about why you were successful. Can you use this as a blueprint to be successful on future projects?
How do you make a difference at work? Is there something unique that only you can do? Use it to your advantage whenever possible.
What is the most valuable use of your time at work? Take a few minutes and think about it. This is a good place to start prioritizing your work to improve productivity.

Separate out the big items, the urgent matters that require your immediate attention. There are usually a few big ticket items and loads of smaller issues. Don’t spend too much time worrying about the small stuff. Another way of looking at it is that the more important an issue or project is the more heat you are going to take if it doesn’t get done.

Once you have established what is your number one priority view it within the context of the above bullet points:

1. Is it an issue or project that your boss expects you to accomplish? If not, you need to talk.
2. Apply what you do well to accomplish this project or issue.
3. Think about how you can be just as successful with this project or issue as you have been on a previous one where you excelled.
4. Apply your unique ability to the task.
5. Use your time wisely as you have done while completing similar issues.

Now take the second item of highest importance and apply the same technique and then go down the list. The less important an issue is the less time you will have to spend on it and some issues you will be able to discard all together.

Key #2 to Happiness – Being Thankful!

Charles — Tue, 07 Sep 2010 12:02:10 +0000

I don’t think that we can be happy if we don’t have a sense of thanksgiving for the good things in our lives. Being thankful takes effort. Naturally, most of us focus on our problems, on what we lack and what ails us. Let’s face it…every one of us has some areas of our lives that are difficult and confusing. Some of these challenges are short term and some are life-long burdens. Some are self-inflicted and some are not our fault.

No matter how positive any one of us may be, there are times when a problem gets the best of us. I must admit, as I write this, I am preaching to myself as well as sharing my thoughts with you. Last week at work, for example, I let some of the pressures get to me. We were trying to keep an important client happy, and everyone (including my direct manager and even the President of the company) had a passionate opinion about what I should do. Unfortunately, the client had totally different ideas and I was walking that thin line of carrying the burden of keeping everyone happy. The pressure even affected my life at home. (My wife would say it wasn’t that bad, but I can see the difference when I don’t have much time for her)

I realize that some of you have much more serious problems. Some of you might have lost your job or you lost your dream home due to foreclosure…some of you might have been informed that you have some serious illness, possibly even a life threatening one. A dear relative of ours is living through everyone’s worst nightmare – the untimely death of one of their children in their 20′s. How can one ever get past such a deep tragedy? Is it even possible? A better question is – does God really know what’s going on down here? Does He see the pain you’re in, the impossible boss, the rebellious spouse or child, the empty bank account, or worse?

These situations are taking you by surprise, but not God. He tells us that He saw every day of our lives before the foundation of the world – that every day of your life has been recorded in His book. (God says this right after He tells you that He has more good thoughts about you than there are grains of sand on all the seas of the world) He has a plan for you that goes way beyond your life on this planet – He has great plans for you throughout all eternity! Since everyone will have different assignments after life on earth, each of us has to be prepared differently. God has a wonderful future designed for you! So you don’t want to be fighting against Him.

Our disappointments, losses and pressures, if not checked, can consume us and make our lives a living hell. The question is…can we find happiness even when experiencing serious problems? The answer is yes. One of the keys to happiness is making a conscious decision and effort to take our focus off our problems and focus of all the good things in our lives…being thankful for those.

Some of you might argue that there is nothing to be thankful for. On the surface that might seem true…but you’d be surprised. I admit that this is not always easy but try we must nevertheless.

Personally, when I struggle with problems, I bring God into the situation, eventually. As a stubborn Austrian, of course, I usually try to handle the problem first by myself… you know, my way! But without Him, the whole situation inevitably gets worse. Yes, I usually attempt a fix the hard way but then after several setbacks, I let Him take over. The earlier in the challenge I surrender the issue to Him, the less pain I experience. Why is that so hard to remember? I don’t know why I need to re-learn the lesson over and over again.

Frankly, giving Him our issues is the first thing we should do. Did you know that God actually loves to hear from us about our problems? He wants to be involved. He is an amazing God that heals, provides, protects, restores and so much more. Below are some Bible verses…

The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer; My God, my strength, in whom I will trust; My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. Psalms 18:2 (NKJV)

God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, Even though the earth be removed, And though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea; Psalms 46:1-2 (NKJV)

You, who have shown me great and severe troubles, Shall revive me again, And bring me up again from the depths of the earth. Psalms 71:20 (NKJV)

As a father pities his children, So the LORD pities those who fear Him. Psalms 103:13 (NKJV)

He heals the brokenhearted And binds up their wounds. Psalms 147:3 (NKJV)

Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’ Isaiah 41:10 (NKJV)

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, Nor shall the flame scorch you. Isaiah 43:2 (NKJV)

Blessed are those who mourn, For they shall be comforted. Matt 5:4 (NKJV)

Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, For theirs is the kingdom of heaven. “Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake. “Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you. Matt 5:10-12 (NKJV)

“Are not two sparrows sold for a copper coin? And not one of them falls to the ground apart from your Father’s will. “But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. “Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows. Matt 10:29-31 (NKJV)

“Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. “Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. “For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” Matt 11:28-30 (NKJV)

We are hard pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; 2 Corinthians 4:8 (NKJV)

Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, 2 Corinthians 4:16-17 (NKJV)

So let’s take some time and think about all the things that are good in your life…your health…your husband or wife…your kids… your job…the fact you live in America…that you have a roof over your head…that you can see…hear…walk…talk…and that Jesus died for you. If you’re having trouble with this, just take some extra time to think about it…it will be worth it. It’s amazing how many things most of us can come up with.

It is important to write these things down as you come up with these items. Then read them out laud several times per day. It’s really amazing what just that little exercise will do help us experience happiness. Here is what the Bible says about being thankful…

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Phil 4:6-7 (NKJV)

Oh, give thanks to the LORD, for He is good! For His mercy endures forever. Psalms 118:1 (NKJV)

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thess 5:16-18 (NKJV)

Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift! 2 Cor 9:15 (NKJV)

And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him. Col 3:17 (NKJV)

I thank my God upon every remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine making request for you all with joy, Phil 1:3-4 (NKJV)

Keys to happiness exercise:
?Ask God for help (ask Jesus into your life if you have not done so already)
?Write down 10 -20 things you are thankful for
?Read them every day for a week…maybe even twice per day
?Every time a thought about your problem seem to creep into your mind, remind yourself of one or more things that you are thankful for
?Ask others to pray for you

How to Be Happy Without Being a Hippie

Charles — Tue, 07 Sep 2010 00:23:10 +0000

Take a look around… terrorism, bank foreclosures, bankruptcies, broken families, divorces, neglected children, death of loved ones, starvation, wars, job loss, bullies, road ragers, queue jumpers, people judging you harshly and not even wanting to understand your motives, people who put you down, people who look down their nose at you because your house isn’t as big as theirs or your job isn’t as fancy, being ignored at the service desk while the staff make private calls, being ripped off, being robbed, being wrongly accused,… the list is endless and I’m sure you get the picture.

It is not “easy” being happy. But it isn’t entirely impossible, either.

When you are running behind schedule and queuing up to buy lunch and someone in front invites their friends to push in, in front of you, thus delaying your turn to be served even further, you may feel anything ranging from merely peeved to outright angry. Whichever emotion you feel, it is a feeling you chose to have, right? It doesn’t matter whether your response was justified or not, you personally chose to be peeved or angry.

Your boss calls you into his office to tell you his is so impressed with your efforts that he has decided to give you a pay-rise. You are so pleased with this news you probably smile and feel anything from simple pleasure to outright joy! Again, regardless of whether your response is justified or not, you personally chose to feel pleased or overjoyed, agreed?

Your baby has just stood up and taken his first steps. You are so pleased by this amazing progress, you feel anything from pride to extreme excitement that your little baby is so clever and quite clearly a genius. And whether or not your response is justified, you personally chose to feel proud or extremely excited.

The point is whatever emotion you feel, you choose to feel it. You pick it out of a list of possibilities and say, yep, I think I’ll use this one.

The same applies to being happy. Being happy is a choice you make – whether it is justified or not.

This is an extreme example, but let’s say you are stuck in traffic and running late for an important job interview… as you crawl forward at snail pace, you realize there has been an accident up ahead and you are not going to make your interview on time. To make matters worse, you then realize you forgot to bring your mobile phone with you so you can’t even ring them to let them know! Now you probably feel stressed, justifiably so, and maybe worried, angry… a whole range of emotions, and happy is probably not one of them.

The emotions you are feeling at this point not only make you feel bad, they are also detrimental to your health and well being. Furthermore, being angry, sad, frustrated and stressed is not going to make the accident disappear and speed the traffic up. It is not going to stop the clock to enable you to get to your interview on time either. You are going to be late, through no fault of your own, and that’s all there is to it. There is NOTHING you can do about it.

So now not only are you going to miss your important job interview and wasting petrol while you crawl along in thick traffic, but you are also damaging your health by feeling stressed, angry, etc. This is not enough for you? You have to make yourself feel bad, too?

How about seeing as there is nothing you can do about it right at that moment, you decide NOT to stress or worry about it because it is not going to help matters or you, and decide instead to relax and maybe even enjoy the slow pace for a while? Turn your radio up and just chill… it’s a legitimate option. This isn’t going to damage your day more than it already is, but what it will do is improve your health and wellbeing and make you feel better.

Sit in your car and smile. Make up your mind to be happy, focus on happy thoughts, think positively and visualize being offered another interview. Make a mental list of all the wonderful things in life that you have to be happy about… and realize that no matter what is happening in your life right at that moment, things could be worse! Be grateful it wasn’t YOU in that accident!

It will take practice… Rome wasn’t built in a day. Here are some simple and quick tips to help you keep things in perspective and make it easier to choose to be happy, regardless of what life throws at you:

1. Choose to be happy. If something rotten happens to you, decide you are not going to let it totally ruin your life by making you miserable, so you go ahead and have the last laugh by being happy. This is particularly good advice if other people are making your life miserable. The best way to get back at them is to be happy – nothing annoys them more!

2. Life can be complicated and we can become spoiled and take things for granted. Learn to find the pleasure in the simple things in life.

3. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Pretend your friend comes to you and he is in your situation – view yourself form this perspective – would you take him so seriously? We usually treat our friends much better than we treat ourselves. Lighten up! Polish off your sense of humour and use it.

4. Understand and accept that “stuff” will happen to you. Don’t think “Oh, that won’t happen to me – that happens to other people.” To other people, you ARE other people! Of course it can happen to you… but don’t dwell on it. Life is all about ups and downs. It goes in cycles. If you are in a “down” cycle at the moment, what have you got to be happy about? Well, when you are down there is only one way out – and that is up! It will happen, smile and get ready for it!

5. Don’t “settle”. Make the most of your situation and circumstances. You want “better”? Make the effort to get it. Nobody has “everything”. Think of the rich guy with the horrible family and no friends and who is dying of cancer – but he lives in a mansion with a pool, servants, several posh cars, spoiled beautiful children who he can afford to send to the best colleges. If he’s miserable and dying, fat lot of good his money is doing him! And then think of the poor guy whose wife has to work too, to make ends meet. They live in a small house, have one run-down old car, their kids go to government schools, they struggle each week to live within their means, BUT their house is full of love, warmth, laughter and happiness. They have supportive family and many friends and they live rich, fulfilled lives.

6. You can’t please all the people all the time – and neither should you have to. Ever noticed how, with some people, it doesn’t matter what you do, there is no pleasing them? Accept that and let it go. It is not your fault or your problem if someone on the planet is not pleased by you – that’s their hang up, let them live with it. You’re too busy being happy, right? Ignore their criticism (unless it is truly justified and of a nature that it really would benefit you to take note!)

7. I like this joke: Don’t try and keep up with the Joneses; bring them down to your level – it’s cheaper. Well, I wouldn’t suggest that – I’ll just say you live your life and let others live theirs – don’t allow other people’s judgements to hurt or affect you. Don’t let other people set your standards. After all, I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t want you setting their standards for them and trying to hold them to it, right?

8. Make time to do things in your life that YOU enjoy. Don’t let it be just about work and housework and homework. It sounds corny but you really must learn to stop and smell the roses. Just try it… then you’ll know how good it feels and you’ll know why people keep telling you to do this all the time! It’s great!

9. Live within your means. Budget so you can cover the necessities and allow for some little luxuries. Whatever you do, do not build up debt. Pay off and get rid of your credit cards. Evil things! Destroyed many a happy home! Being in debt is a surefire happy-killer!

10. Keep it real. Don’t let an overactive imagination bring you down. Are you sure the neighbours are whispering about you behind your back? Do you really care what they think? At the end of the day, does it matter what they think? Sometimes we imagine things to be much worse than they actually are, so we waste precious time brooding and worrying about stuff… which brings me to the next point…

11. Don’t waste precious time brooding and worrying about “stuff”. I know for some that is easier said than done, but again, how we feel is a choice we make. Choose to be happy anyway – whether that is justified or not. Learn to “let go” and move on. Don’t live in the past – there is absolutely no way you can go back and change it, so stop trying to live there, making yourself miserable.

12. Avoid “if only” thinking. “I’d be happy if only…” NO! You be happy right now, mister, (or miss), and leave the if only’s out of it! You are short-changing yourself and sabotaging any chance of happiness if you fall victim to the “if only”…

13. Avoid toxic people. Avoid negative people who bring you down, put you down, make you unhappy or stressed, or make you feel inferior in any way. You don’t need them in your life! Nobody does. They only hang around and annoy you because you let them! And for those you can’t avoid, well, do your best to ignore them, tune out, walk away…

14. Dig a hole and dump your jealousies and envies in it. Don’t compare yourself to others – the world is full of people who are better off and worse off than you – you’ll go crazy if you plan to compare yourself with all of them just to decide how you feel about yourself! You’re okay as you are right now and if where you are right now doesn’t make you jump up and down with glee, do something about it – with a smile!

15. Be thankful for what you have… remember the man who felt sorry for himself because he had no shoes, until he met the man who had no feet. You got no fancy shoes? Be grateful you’ve got feet!

16. Helping others is a surefire way to boost your happiness levels. Whenever we do something for somebody less fortunate than ourselves, we always feel good about it and good about ourselves.

17. Don’t be sad because something good is over – smile and be happy because it happened. This is some of that looking at your glass as being half full, as opposed to half empty!

18. Choose to be happy “now” – today, not tomorrow. You can only live in the now, today, and so that is where you need to choose to be happy.. today, right now. You know what they say…

“Today is a Gift… and that’s why it’s called The Present”.

And who doesn’t like presents? Give yourself the gift of happiness today. Whatever bad, sad thing in life is holding you down, find something worth smiling about and just do it!

Shift Your Focus

Charles — Tue, 31 Aug 2010 06:00:10 +0000

A quote that I love is that, “what you focus on expands”. If there is something in your life that you are not happy with, focusing on it not only makes you feel miserable, it seems to taint your other thoughts also. First you are thinking about how unhappy you are and this is closely followed by the people and circumstances that make you feel that way. Perhaps your spouse just doesn’t understand you, your boss never appreciates you, other people seem to have everything they want flow effortlessly into their lives and so on. Eventually, you are a victim of your life and it is simply happening TO you instead of you enjoying the journey. Sound familiar?

Now for the good news. Actually, it is great news! You have the power within you, right now, to change your life. You can choose to shift your focus and start feeling happier. It will take some effort on your part to start focusing on all the good things in your life. Know that it is not wasted effort.

Start small. Take out a piece of paper and a pen, then make a list of all the things that you are grateful for. Do not worry about what you write because this list is for your eyes only. Even if you have only a few things to start with, that is okay; it is a start. Write down everything, regardless of how insignificant it may seem. Now carry the list with you. It can be transcribed onto special paper to add to the visual appeal. You can, and are encouraged, to add more items to your list at any time. Then, when you are standing in a long lineup and getting frustrated, or your boss is on your case again, you have this wonderful list you can pull out and review. It will shift your focus out of the frustration to the things in your life that you are grateful for. As you become accustomed to reading your list, you will naturally begin to feel more positive. Your mind will seek out more things that you are grateful for to add to the list.

Now try looking at all the people and circumstances in your life that you perceive as making you unhappy. Are they really making you unhappy, or are you focusing on qualities or situations that are negative? Are you automatically in a negative place when you see your spouse simply because you have associated negative feelings toward him/her for so long? Maybe your boss expresses happiness with results differently than you do. Perhaps think of 25 qualities that you love about your spouse, the times that your boss made you feel valued or how you can turn around the negative circumstances around you. Try to find the good in your life and figure out how to have more of that.

Focus on what you want more of in your life. Appreciate that which you already have. Shift your focus, change your life.