Posts tagged Boss
Key #2 to Happiness – Being Thankful!
Sep 7th
I don’t think that we can be happy if we don’t have a sense of thanksgiving for the good things in our lives. Being thankful takes effort. Naturally, most of us focus on our problems, on what we lack and what ails us. Let’s face it…every one of us has some areas of our lives that are difficult and confusing. Some of these challenges are short term and some are life-long burdens. Some are self-inflicted and some are not our fault.
No matter how positive any one of us may be, there are times when a problem gets the best of us. I must admit, as I write this, I am preaching to myself as well as sharing my thoughts with you. Last week at work, for example, I let some of the pressures get to me. We were trying to keep an important client happy, and everyone (including my direct manager and even the President of the company) had a passionate opinion about what I should do. Unfortunately, the client had totally different ideas and I was walking that thin line of carrying the burden of keeping everyone happy. The pressure even affected my life at home. (My wife would say it wasn’t that bad, but I can see the difference when I don’t have much time for her)
I realize that some of you have much more serious problems. Some of you might have lost your job or you lost your dream home due to foreclosure…some of you might have been informed that you have some serious illness, possibly even a life threatening one. A dear relative of ours is living through everyone’s worst nightmare – the untimely death of one of their children in their 20′s. How can one ever get past such a deep tragedy? Is it even possible? A better question is – does God really know what’s going on down here? Does He see the pain you’re in, the impossible boss, the rebellious spouse or child, the empty bank account, or worse?
These situations are taking you by surprise, but not God. He tells us that He saw every day of our lives before the foundation of the world – that every day of your life has been recorded in His book. (God says this right after He tells you that He has more good thoughts about you than there are grains of sand on all the seas of the world) He has a plan for you that goes way beyond your life on this planet – He has great plans for you throughout all eternity! Since everyone will have different assignments after life on earth, each of us has to be prepared differently. God has a wonderful future designed for you! So you don’t want to be fighting against Him.
Our disappointments, losses and pressures, if not checked, can consume us and make our lives a living hell. The question is…can we find happiness even when experiencing serious problems? The answer is yes. One of the keys to happiness is making a conscious decision and effort to take our focus off our problems and focus of all the good things in our lives…being thankful for those.
Some of you might argue that there is nothing to be thankful for. On the surface that might seem true…but you’d be surprised. I admit that this is not always easy but try we must nevertheless.
Personally, when I struggle with problems, I bring God into the situation, eventually. As a stubborn Austrian, of course, I usually try to handle the problem first by myself… you know, my way! But without Him, the whole situation inevitably gets worse. Yes, I usually attempt a fix the hard way but then after several setbacks, I let Him take over. The earlier in the challenge I surrender the issue to Him, the less pain I experience. Why is that so hard to remember? I don’t know why I need to re-learn the lesson over and over again.
Frankly, giving Him our issues is the first thing we should do. Did you know that God actually loves to hear from us about our problems? He wants to be involved. He is an amazing God that heals, provides, protects, restores and so much more. Below are some Bible verses…
The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer; My God, my strength, in whom I will trust; My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. Psalms 18:2 (NKJV)
God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, Even though the earth be removed, And though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea; Psalms 46:1-2 (NKJV)
You, who have shown me great and severe troubles, Shall revive me again, And bring me up again from the depths of the earth. Psalms 71:20 (NKJV)
As a father pities his children, So the LORD pities those who fear Him. Psalms 103:13 (NKJV)
He heals the brokenhearted And binds up their wounds. Psalms 147:3 (NKJV)
Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’ Isaiah 41:10 (NKJV)
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, Nor shall the flame scorch you. Isaiah 43:2 (NKJV)
Blessed are those who mourn, For they shall be comforted. Matt 5:4 (NKJV)
Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, For theirs is the kingdom of heaven. “Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake. “Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you. Matt 5:10-12 (NKJV)
“Are not two sparrows sold for a copper coin? And not one of them falls to the ground apart from your Father’s will. “But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. “Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows. Matt 10:29-31 (NKJV)
“Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. “Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. “For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” Matt 11:28-30 (NKJV)
We are hard pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; 2 Corinthians 4:8 (NKJV)
Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, 2 Corinthians 4:16-17 (NKJV)
So let’s take some time and think about all the things that are good in your life…your health…your husband or wife…your kids… your job…the fact you live in America…that you have a roof over your head…that you can see…hear…walk…talk…and that Jesus died for you. If you’re having trouble with this, just take some extra time to think about it…it will be worth it. It’s amazing how many things most of us can come up with.
It is important to write these things down as you come up with these items. Then read them out laud several times per day. It’s really amazing what just that little exercise will do help us experience happiness. Here is what the Bible says about being thankful…
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Phil 4:6-7 (NKJV)
Oh, give thanks to the LORD, for He is good! For His mercy endures forever. Psalms 118:1 (NKJV)
Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thess 5:16-18 (NKJV)
Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift! 2 Cor 9:15 (NKJV)
And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him. Col 3:17 (NKJV)
I thank my God upon every remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine making request for you all with joy, Phil 1:3-4 (NKJV)
Keys to happiness exercise:
?Ask God for help (ask Jesus into your life if you have not done so already)
?Write down 10 -20 things you are thankful for
?Read them every day for a week…maybe even twice per day
?Every time a thought about your problem seem to creep into your mind, remind yourself of one or more things that you are thankful for
?Ask others to pray for you
How to Be Happy Without Being a Hippie
Sep 7th
Take a look around… terrorism, bank foreclosures, bankruptcies, broken families, divorces, neglected children, death of loved ones, starvation, wars, job loss, bullies, road ragers, queue jumpers, people judging you harshly and not even wanting to understand your motives, people who put you down, people who look down their nose at you because your house isn’t as big as theirs or your job isn’t as fancy, being ignored at the service desk while the staff make private calls, being ripped off, being robbed, being wrongly accused,… the list is endless and I’m sure you get the picture.
It is not “easy” being happy. But it isn’t entirely impossible, either.
When you are running behind schedule and queuing up to buy lunch and someone in front invites their friends to push in, in front of you, thus delaying your turn to be served even further, you may feel anything ranging from merely peeved to outright angry. Whichever emotion you feel, it is a feeling you chose to have, right? It doesn’t matter whether your response was justified or not, you personally chose to be peeved or angry.
Your boss calls you into his office to tell you his is so impressed with your efforts that he has decided to give you a pay-rise. You are so pleased with this news you probably smile and feel anything from simple pleasure to outright joy! Again, regardless of whether your response is justified or not, you personally chose to feel pleased or overjoyed, agreed?
Your baby has just stood up and taken his first steps. You are so pleased by this amazing progress, you feel anything from pride to extreme excitement that your little baby is so clever and quite clearly a genius. And whether or not your response is justified, you personally chose to feel proud or extremely excited.
The point is whatever emotion you feel, you choose to feel it. You pick it out of a list of possibilities and say, yep, I think I’ll use this one.
The same applies to being happy. Being happy is a choice you make – whether it is justified or not.
This is an extreme example, but let’s say you are stuck in traffic and running late for an important job interview… as you crawl forward at snail pace, you realize there has been an accident up ahead and you are not going to make your interview on time. To make matters worse, you then realize you forgot to bring your mobile phone with you so you can’t even ring them to let them know! Now you probably feel stressed, justifiably so, and maybe worried, angry… a whole range of emotions, and happy is probably not one of them.
The emotions you are feeling at this point not only make you feel bad, they are also detrimental to your health and well being. Furthermore, being angry, sad, frustrated and stressed is not going to make the accident disappear and speed the traffic up. It is not going to stop the clock to enable you to get to your interview on time either. You are going to be late, through no fault of your own, and that’s all there is to it. There is NOTHING you can do about it.
So now not only are you going to miss your important job interview and wasting petrol while you crawl along in thick traffic, but you are also damaging your health by feeling stressed, angry, etc. This is not enough for you? You have to make yourself feel bad, too?
How about seeing as there is nothing you can do about it right at that moment, you decide NOT to stress or worry about it because it is not going to help matters or you, and decide instead to relax and maybe even enjoy the slow pace for a while? Turn your radio up and just chill… it’s a legitimate option. This isn’t going to damage your day more than it already is, but what it will do is improve your health and wellbeing and make you feel better.
Sit in your car and smile. Make up your mind to be happy, focus on happy thoughts, think positively and visualize being offered another interview. Make a mental list of all the wonderful things in life that you have to be happy about… and realize that no matter what is happening in your life right at that moment, things could be worse! Be grateful it wasn’t YOU in that accident!
It will take practice… Rome wasn’t built in a day. Here are some simple and quick tips to help you keep things in perspective and make it easier to choose to be happy, regardless of what life throws at you:
1. Choose to be happy. If something rotten happens to you, decide you are not going to let it totally ruin your life by making you miserable, so you go ahead and have the last laugh by being happy. This is particularly good advice if other people are making your life miserable. The best way to get back at them is to be happy – nothing annoys them more!
2. Life can be complicated and we can become spoiled and take things for granted. Learn to find the pleasure in the simple things in life.
3. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Pretend your friend comes to you and he is in your situation – view yourself form this perspective – would you take him so seriously? We usually treat our friends much better than we treat ourselves. Lighten up! Polish off your sense of humour and use it.
4. Understand and accept that “stuff” will happen to you. Don’t think “Oh, that won’t happen to me – that happens to other people.” To other people, you ARE other people! Of course it can happen to you… but don’t dwell on it. Life is all about ups and downs. It goes in cycles. If you are in a “down” cycle at the moment, what have you got to be happy about? Well, when you are down there is only one way out – and that is up! It will happen, smile and get ready for it!
5. Don’t “settle”. Make the most of your situation and circumstances. You want “better”? Make the effort to get it. Nobody has “everything”. Think of the rich guy with the horrible family and no friends and who is dying of cancer – but he lives in a mansion with a pool, servants, several posh cars, spoiled beautiful children who he can afford to send to the best colleges. If he’s miserable and dying, fat lot of good his money is doing him! And then think of the poor guy whose wife has to work too, to make ends meet. They live in a small house, have one run-down old car, their kids go to government schools, they struggle each week to live within their means, BUT their house is full of love, warmth, laughter and happiness. They have supportive family and many friends and they live rich, fulfilled lives.
6. You can’t please all the people all the time – and neither should you have to. Ever noticed how, with some people, it doesn’t matter what you do, there is no pleasing them? Accept that and let it go. It is not your fault or your problem if someone on the planet is not pleased by you – that’s their hang up, let them live with it. You’re too busy being happy, right? Ignore their criticism (unless it is truly justified and of a nature that it really would benefit you to take note!)
7. I like this joke: Don’t try and keep up with the Joneses; bring them down to your level – it’s cheaper. Well, I wouldn’t suggest that – I’ll just say you live your life and let others live theirs – don’t allow other people’s judgements to hurt or affect you. Don’t let other people set your standards. After all, I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t want you setting their standards for them and trying to hold them to it, right?
8. Make time to do things in your life that YOU enjoy. Don’t let it be just about work and housework and homework. It sounds corny but you really must learn to stop and smell the roses. Just try it… then you’ll know how good it feels and you’ll know why people keep telling you to do this all the time! It’s great!
9. Live within your means. Budget so you can cover the necessities and allow for some little luxuries. Whatever you do, do not build up debt. Pay off and get rid of your credit cards. Evil things! Destroyed many a happy home! Being in debt is a surefire happy-killer!
10. Keep it real. Don’t let an overactive imagination bring you down. Are you sure the neighbours are whispering about you behind your back? Do you really care what they think? At the end of the day, does it matter what they think? Sometimes we imagine things to be much worse than they actually are, so we waste precious time brooding and worrying about stuff… which brings me to the next point…
11. Don’t waste precious time brooding and worrying about “stuff”. I know for some that is easier said than done, but again, how we feel is a choice we make. Choose to be happy anyway – whether that is justified or not. Learn to “let go” and move on. Don’t live in the past – there is absolutely no way you can go back and change it, so stop trying to live there, making yourself miserable.
12. Avoid “if only” thinking. “I’d be happy if only…” NO! You be happy right now, mister, (or miss), and leave the if only’s out of it! You are short-changing yourself and sabotaging any chance of happiness if you fall victim to the “if only”…
13. Avoid toxic people. Avoid negative people who bring you down, put you down, make you unhappy or stressed, or make you feel inferior in any way. You don’t need them in your life! Nobody does. They only hang around and annoy you because you let them! And for those you can’t avoid, well, do your best to ignore them, tune out, walk away…
14. Dig a hole and dump your jealousies and envies in it. Don’t compare yourself to others – the world is full of people who are better off and worse off than you – you’ll go crazy if you plan to compare yourself with all of them just to decide how you feel about yourself! You’re okay as you are right now and if where you are right now doesn’t make you jump up and down with glee, do something about it – with a smile!
15. Be thankful for what you have… remember the man who felt sorry for himself because he had no shoes, until he met the man who had no feet. You got no fancy shoes? Be grateful you’ve got feet!
16. Helping others is a surefire way to boost your happiness levels. Whenever we do something for somebody less fortunate than ourselves, we always feel good about it and good about ourselves.
17. Don’t be sad because something good is over – smile and be happy because it happened. This is some of that looking at your glass as being half full, as opposed to half empty!
18. Choose to be happy “now” – today, not tomorrow. You can only live in the now, today, and so that is where you need to choose to be happy.. today, right now. You know what they say…
“Today is a Gift… and that’s why it’s called The Present”.
And who doesn’t like presents? Give yourself the gift of happiness today. Whatever bad, sad thing in life is holding you down, find something worth smiling about and just do it!
