Archive for September, 2010
Social Anxiety – Self Help For Men
Sep 30th
Most men are so afraid to go out and get rejected. They see a beautiful woman and they just hide in the corner. Social anxiety can really put your love life on hold big time. These men need to learn a few things about attracting women…women love being with men who can handle themselves in social settings. If you are with a woman and you are more shy than she is then she will not want to be with you–she won’t feel safe and secure. You want to be like a lion or a wolf when it comes to social settings.
Lions and wolves have groups. Wolves have packs and lions have prides. The male lion is considered the king of the jungle. You don’t want to be like a mouse…hiding and running at the sign of human contact. Men who are socially confident know that in order to get the girl he has to win the guys over. Lets say that you are out and you see a group of people. If you go into that group looking uncertain, then the group will either reject you or make fun of you. You want to go into the group with the thought that you are gracing them with your presence. You want to make the group feel good. You want the guys to respect you. You want the girls to notice and become attracted to you (only cute ones, please). This is why in the art of seduction and pickup, they teach going into a “set” or group of people. When you are comfortable doing this and can win the group over with ease then you will notice how many women will become attracted to you. Here are a few tips on social anxiety self help.
1. Before you go out. Sit in an area where you won’t be disturbed and close your eyes. You want to clear your mind and phase out negative thoughts. You want to think of going out as having fun, not fear that people are out to get you.
2. Any negative thought comes into your head…phase it out. You want to have a clear mind without any preconceived notions. You will be going out with a blank slate. You will think outward not inward. For example, think “she’s cute…let me go talk to her” not “she cute…what do I say to her?”
3. Learn as much as you can about pickup and approaching women in social settings as possible. You don’t need to say pickup lines just go up and say “hi”. To me, learning how to approach should be the first thing you should learn. The reason is it allows you to take action ASAP. The reason why I say pick up is because they focus on taking action on a regular basis. There will be a point where you won’t need pick up and just do it naturally with ease.
4. Men, get in touch with your masculine spirit. This means having the embodiment of masculinity. Be a masculine confident man. These men rely on their masculinity to bring them confidence to get women. Women love masculine men. It makes them feel protected and safe.
Social anxiety is all in your head so that is why I say clear your mind first. You want to go out with no thoughts in your head of an outcome. It’s like a movie that you have never seen–you are just enjoying the experience and can’t wait to see what happens. Negativity has no place in your head…especially if you aren’t confident as it is. Social anxiety self help allows you to help yourself overcome the fear of the approach, the feeling of not being worthy when you are around strangers, and gives you a clear unshakable mind.
Women love men who are confident–we already know that. But did you know that if you are masculine and confident then women will find it hard to keep their hands off of you? I know that it’s hard to find a place where you can learn masculine confidence but luckily I have a link that will show you how to get it.
http://confidencemagnet.com/mcm.htm
Doing The Dance of Shiva – Slow and Smooth
Sep 30th
I’ve recently discovered that doing the Dance of Shiva slowly feels really good. It gives me time to feel what I am doing. My inspiration for doing it slowly comes from a number of sources, one of the main ones being Tai Ji.
I’ve been doing Tai Ji for a number of years now and what I now find is, that having learned to feel the movements while doing them slowly, it is easy to carry that “Feeling” into doing those same movements fast. In either case, instead of thinking about what I have to do I feel it. And I adjust what I am doing when I need to so that what I am doing feels good. I’ve started applying this to learning forms that are supposed to be done fast.
For example, to learn to do a Gong Fu sword form, I’ve been practicing the movements slowly to get the feeling for them so that once I have the feeling I try to then carry that feeling into doing the movements gradually faster and faster. Any time I notice a movement where I don’t yet know the feeling, I simply practice that “segment” until I get the feeling and then I try to string the movements all together again.
The overall feeling can be like riding a wave, allowing the energy of one movement to carry me into the next movement. Rather than thinking about the movements I simply feel them and allow them to happen. This doesn’t come easy. I’ve had to practice. As an example, to learn the sword form, I first play the relavant section of the DVD, watching the same piece over and over again so that I understand what I am supposed to do and so that I can then try to mimic it when I go to the park to practice.
Often times I’ll think I understand the movement but I’ve forgotten to look at some key element, perhaps the direction I should be facing in, which foot steps first and where, or even what I am doing with my sword hand and my free hand. However, once I’ve got the choreography mapped out, then I can start to feel the moves, making adjustments according to the way the moves feel each time I do them. Eventually I get to a point where I can practice in such a way that it feels like my whole body is involved-in such a way that I can feel my whole body in each movement. That doesn’t necessarily mean every part of my body moves, but it does mean that each part of my body supports what I am doing whether that part is stationary or dynamic.
Relaxed and Smooth
Generally, in order to maximize my ability to feel my body I try to be as relaxed as possible given the position or movement that I am trying to do. If I deliberately engage any part of my body it is to provide support, positioning bones relative to each other and the forces acting on them, so that other parts can relax. Staying relaxed and smoothly connecting one movement to the next, I can then use the weight of my body or the weight of the sword, or momentum to carry me from one position to the next.
Being relaxed is important, feeling the body is also important, but when we move, smoothness is how we transmit energy, how we allow the energy of what we are doing to carry us from one position to the next. Smooth is efficient, and it can also be beautiful. Smooth and Slow leads to Smooth and Fast.
Feeling What we are Doing
Applying this to any physical activity that we are learning, if we practice doing it slowly and smoothly we can focus on feeling the movements and positions as we do them. As a result we become present. Doing something fast is another way of becoming present, especially if you have to focus on what comes next. However, if we learn slowly first, then we can carry the smoothness that we learn from doing slowly into doing it quickly. As a result we are less likely to suffer injury or be sore the next day.
Doing the movements slowly, over time we gradually realize the best path for each movement, the path that takes the least energy while still maintaining the shape or intent of what we are doing. And this path may be different from day to day, depending on our body and the environment, but if we now the feeling that we are looking for then we can find the place of smooth movement anyway.
